


just the three of us | streddie

by angeldenbrough



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Dom/sub Undertones, Eventual Happy Ending, Exhibitionism, Face-Fucking, First Kiss, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Richie Tozier is a Mess, Rough Kissing, Rough Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Threesome - M/M/M, and is pining for his two best friends for so long??, but also a lot of fluff, cus i’m a sucker for them, i know it’s long but.. i promise 7k of this is just smut, idiots to lovers, internalized homophobia is a BITCH lemme tell ya, or more accurately, theyre so in love... and good for them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 03:34:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 26,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23738422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angeldenbrough/pseuds/angeldenbrough
Summary: Richie’s gay and hates himself for it, but his two best friends love him and want to reassure him it’ll all be okay...and maybe a few hysterical, late night confessions will all work out okay too.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier/Stanley Uris, Eddie Kaspbrak/Stanley Uris, Richie Tozier/Stanley Uris
Comments: 13
Kudos: 53





	just the three of us | streddie

**Author's Note:**

> i based a lot of richie’s internalized homophobia on my own feelings dealing with it, so this one is a bit of a more personal one for me. richie is such a good boy, who deserves so much love!!! streddie deserves so much love too, it’s such an underrated dynamic. if you want more streddie content, PLEASE do yourself a favour and follow binithibubb; the artist whos work introduced me to streddie ^^ 
> 
> and, unrelated but - i have done nothing except write during this quarantine!! so!! if you enjoy the insufferably long stories i write, i’ll probably be posting many, many more very soon.

This was the perfect night, or at least, it should have been. Richie Tozier was hanging out with his best friends in the world. Eddie and Stanley were over at his house for a sleepover that night. And currently, they were on his bed, and he was sandwiched between them as they watched a horror movie they’d rented that night. Stanley and Eddie both hated horror movies. Eddie hated them because he was scared of every single one he’d ever watched. And Stanley hated them because he believed they were a waste of time. “Such things just aren’t empirically possible, Richie.” He’d always say, and therefore was never scared; and if he couldn’t be scared what was the point of watching a movie with terrible plot, terrible actors and terrible sets. And Richie would always remind him, that they were possible, and they both knew that because they had lived a reality far worse than anything ever seen in a horror film at the tender age of 13. But Stanley would always reply in true Stanley fashion, with an eye roll and an exasperated sigh for effect. But Richie would always let it slide, whatever helped Stan the Man sleep at night...

Richie always got to pick the movie, because Eddie, Stanley and Richie had a deal for all movie nights- whoever bought the snacks picked the movie. And conveniently, it was always Richie’s idea to have a movie night in the first place. So he was the only one with a wallet, and the only one with a car and a drivers license to take them somewhere to get movie and snacks. It was a set up if you asked Stan, and ‘fucking bullshit’ if you asked Eddie. But regardless of how much they complained about the shitty movies Richie would pick out, that were either terrible comedies only someone like Richie Tozier would find funny, or terrible horror movies only someone like Richie Tozier would find entertaining- they would always have a great time. And today had been no exception. After a long, and gruelling day at Derry Highschool, Richie had met up with Eddie and Stan and asked them if he wanted to come over to his house after school for a sleep over. It was a perfect day for it too, because the others couldn’t come. Beverly had to work, Bill was home sick all that week with the flu, Mike had to help with his family farm, and Ben had an english essay due in 2 weeks so he wanted to get a head start on it that night. Not that he didn’t enjoy hanging out with them, because he loved it very, very much. But alone time with just Eddie and Stan was few and far between, and he treasured that time more than anything. He got their undivided attention, which to him was more valuable than anything. And much to his delight, Stan and Eddie happily accepted, and Richie’s heart soared when he saw them smile in excitement. 

He replayed that day as he watched the movie, trying more than anything not to watch Eddie and Stanley. Desperate to have something else, anything else occupy his thoughts. He didn’t deserve to feel so bad, so guilty. But, this was a bad feeling he had come to grow used to. He wasn’t always guilty, but that guilt was always there- and it was only made worse when he hung out with his two best friends; Eddie Kaspbrak and Stanley Uris. He was a teenage boy in the late eighties dealing, or more accurately, repressing his sexuality. And those two didn’t make it any easier. The way Eddie’s nose crinkled when he laughed didn’t make it any easier. The way Stanley would look at you when you spoke; giving you all his attention, as if would never be elsewhere again, as if you were the only person in the world didn’t make it any easier. The way Eddie remembered the little things about him, didn’t make it any easier. The way Stanley’s curly hair looked almost golden in the sunlight didn’t make it any easier. And Richie could go on and on until he listed every trait and physical detail they had; wether it be slight or prominent or inconsequential, it made him dizzy. He got sick to his stomach with guilt just thinking about it. He hated himself for liking them, he felt like such a liar. He felt like he was keeping something from them. He felt like he had betrayed their trust in some way, feeling like an idiot for being able to misread their years of friendship. Years of misreading that finally festered into a deep love, a melancholic lining that he knew would be the death of him. He could’ve sworn his father had told him something about that once. That you could die from a broken heart, and tension on your heartstrings was never good- that it could lead to a stroke or something like that. But he was a dentist, not a cardiologist- so what did he know anyways. If he could die from a broken heart, he would gladly have taken that way out. It would be better than living like this, anyways. Living with seeing your two best friends like this. He wasn’t supposed to love his best friends!! He was supposed to be like every other normal teenage boy, and have normal friendships, and get a normal job, and have normal hobbies; and have a normal girlfriend who would later become his normal wife. But he didn’t have that, he was never going to be that. He wasn’t a normal teenage boy; he was too tall and lanky for his age and wore the same glasses he had since he was a kid that made his eyes look like planets (mostly keeping them because both Eddie and Stan had said it was cute he still wore them) and wore patterned button up shirts that never matched with anything, though he never tried to. He didn’t have normal friendships, he only had six friends in the entire world and he wouldn’t have it any other way. They were losers, as they called themselves, and didn’t have anyone but themselves. And he sure as hell wasnt going to get a normal job one day either, he was going to accomplish his goals of being a standup comedian one day- and he was gonna be a damn good one too! And he told that to anyone who would listen. And he didn’t have normal hobbies, unless all 17 year old boys practiced impressions and hung out with their friends in quarries. And he didn’t have a normal girlfriend, nor did he want one. He was gay. There was no denying that, or trying to lie to himself about that- because lord knew he tried that, and that sure as hell didn’t work. He didn’t even want a girlfriend for the sake of appearances and trying to appear straight to the outside world. He had planned long ago that it would be better to be miserable all alone forever, than totally miserable in a loveless relationship with some desperate girl. He didn’t want that. He wanted Eddie, and he wanted Stanley. He wanted them so badly it hurt. 

Richie harboured a secret in him that nearly consumed him entirely. Not just the fact that he had it, but it was the guilt for having it, and the hatred of himself for having it; nearly ate him alive. He’d been harbouring this secret, or more accurately, secrets, since he was eleven years old. He was gay. He had known he was gay since he was eleven. He’d never kissed a guy, he’d never dated a guy, or anything like that. But he didn’t need to do any of that to know, he knew. He knew full well he was gay. But, that didn’t mean he hadn’t tried to deny it, to work around it, to analyze every aspect of himself and his personality to explain it away. He wasn’t really gay, he just hadn’t met the right girl. He wasn’t really gay, he was too young to know. He wasn’t really gay, he was just confused. And those excuses held him over, for maybe a couple minutes. It’s hard to convince yourself something isn’t true, when you know in your heart something is. So he hadn’t tried to deny it anymore. He was gay. No one knew, except him. And if it was up to him, no one would ever find out- ever. Not his mom, not his dad, not his best friends (he didn’t really have any friends, he just had his best friends, the losers); especially not his bestest friends. His bestest friends, Eddie and Stanley, could never know because they were a very important part of his self discovery. His, in his opinion, terrible truth was that he loved both of them. He loved them both so deeply and truly, in a way you weren’t supposed to love your two best friends. And he felt so disgusting for liking them both. He wished he could just like one, if he had to like them at all, he would’ve preferred just one. It wouldn’t feel as wrong if it was just one. Then he wouldn’t have to chose, which he knew he absolutely could not do. He wasn’t strong enough to deal with one crush on his best friend, he didn’t know why his foolish heart burdened him with two.

It got easier to deal with, sure. But it was never easy. He didn’t cut himself over it anymore. He didn’t feel the need to punish himself for feeling the way he did anymore. Because doing so would never change anything, it never did. His scars had healed over and you couldn’t see them unless you really, really looked. Richie was proud of himself, it was all about relishing in the small victories. He still was disgusted by himself, but it wasn’t repulsive anymore. He had even had good days sometimes, they were few and far between, but they were still there. Richie would sometimes think, that if being gay meant it gave him the opportunity to be able to love Stanley and Eddie; then it couldn’t be so bad after all. He found some comfort in the fact that it was a one sided love, it was rare but some days he forced himself to become complacent; and to be comforted by what he thought was unchanging. Because in the fact that it was one sided, there was peace. He could dare to dream. If he was going to be secretive about it forever, there was no risk of rejection. Because the heartbreak and pain of rejection was a lot different than emotional agony. He could live with emotional agony, he supposed. He supposed he had to, more truthfully speaking. By not confessing, the possibility of dating Eddie, or Stanley, or in a perfect world, both; was so far out of reach he could fantasize all he wanted to. And he supposed that’s where his comfort was, in the utopian bliss of need being known. In short, his pain had been alleviated over the years. He still suffered, and fought a losing battle with anguish and inner angst and turmoil, but it had gotten a bit better over the years. Because it had been many years, since he had come to fall in love with his two best friends, and even longer to realize he loved his two best friends. It had felt like just yesterday some days, though. He had fallen in love with Eddie first. He could remember the day perfectly. 

It was an autumn day, as normal as any other. They were only 12 at the time. School had just started back up again, so free time that they could all spend together was fewer and farther between. But they had hung out that day, all as a group. They’d hung out in the Barrens as they always did, surrounded by the flora that turned orange and yellow with time. They’d spent the Saturday as they had spent the last one, making leaf piles, making ‘leaf angels’ (just like snow angels, but with the remnants of a leaf pile somebody had jumped in; it was Mike’s genius idea), trying to hide out and stay as far away from Henry Bowers as humanly and geographically possible. They had hung out together until it was starting to turn to dusk; and the group was sad to see the day go, and wondered where the day had gone in the first place. They say time flew by when you were having fun, and nobody knew that better than the losers club. The group dispersed one by one as they always did. First, Bill had to go, taking silver and the rake he had brought from home to make leaf piles with him. Then it was Mike, who had to help his father tend to the autumn crops. Then it was Bev’s turn to leave, waving good bye as she left, her skirt swishing in the late night breeze as she turned to leave. Then it was Stanley, and Richie was the saddest to see him go, not particularly sure why his heart always ached to see him leave. If he had it his way, he’d never have to say bye to him, or Eddie ever again. He wasn’t sure at that exact moment why he felt so strongly about them, but he supposed it wasn’t important- and didn’t channel any of that energy into his good bye to Stan. Not saying it with any more enthusiasm than he had said it to Bill, Bev or Mike. Lastly, it was Ben; who had to get home soon or he’d never hear the end of it from his mother. He had invited the remainder of the group, Richie and Eddie, to come home for dinner with him- but they both politely declined. He was sure Eddie’s excuse was genuine, but his was not- he lied and said his family was coming from out of town to visit. But that was a lie, he just didn’t want to go. Ben made easy conversation for another five or so minutes before he left, giving them each a sincere hug and an even more sincere thank you for such a nice afternoon. With Ben gone, that left just Richie and Eddie. Neither one of them were particularly in the mood to stay in the Barrens any longer now that the rest of the group had gone. They walked home together, as they did quite often. That day was remarkably unremarkable. But that just made everything that made Eddie; Eddie, stand out more. They walked home together in silence, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable or awkward silence. It was a hazy, comfortable silence; the only reason why they weren’t talking is was because they were both so tired. Entertaining, or rather, annoying, a group of his six best friends wore Richie out after a long day. He watched Eddie with half lidded eyes. Half listening as Eddie chose to answer a question the long way. Richie wasn’t too focused on the answer, more so the mellow of his voice. His voice was high pitched, but calm. It was always so calming, it always had a soothing quality to Richie. Wether his voice was telling him to shut up, or that everything was going to be okay, it calmed him down. Richie could listen to Eddie ramble about nothing for hours, it was one of his favourite sounds in the world. Second only to the sound of his laughter. The cool autumn air was as crisp as the leaves that decorated the cracked sidewalk they stepped on. Richie admired how the breeze blew a few strands of Eddie’s soft brown hair into his face. He wished he could know the feeling of being able to run his fingers through that brown hair. He didn’t know why he wanted to, he just knew he wanted to. He cursed the wind for not being able to know how lucky it was. And then quickly cursed himself for thinking something so weird. He replaced those thoughts quickly, though. He thought it was so cute how frazzled Eddie quickly became, and that he stopped mid sentence to fix his hair immediately. He always thought it was so cute how much of a perfectionist Eddie was. He felt strangeness dawn on him as he thought more about that. He supposed cute was a strange choice of words, but the more he thought about it, he couldn’t think of a better way to put it. He thought his best friend was cute. Sure, there might’ve been a lot to unpack there, but the denial had already settled in at full force and Richie couldn’t see that there was anything worth unpacking; so he threw away the suitcase. Everyone thought their best friend was cute, right? That was something everyone did, he was sure of it. He was growing less sure of it every day, but he still forced himself to believe. That’s what he always did, and that’s what he was doing in that moment, so he knew that it had been normal. But that day was different, maybe it hadn’t been so unremarkable after all. He was starting to lose his grip on reality, the ties that held together his security blanket were starting to come undone. He couldn’t keep telling himself that anymore. He couldn’t keep telling himself that every boy felt that way about their best friend, because it wasn’t. Richie wanted to count the freckles that decorated his face, wanted to figure out exactly what shade of pink his lips were closest to. He loved the way his eyes creased when he smiled from ear to ear, he loved the way his eyes looked up at him, and the way his fanny pack hung low on his hips. It wasn’t normal to want what he wanted, it wasn’t normal to love what he loved. It hit him suddenly in that moment. He couldn’t lie to himself anymore. Richie grew quiet, and his steps grew slower and Eddie had known his mind was elsewhere. He pulled on his arm to signal to him to stop walking. Eddie tried to get his attention and get him out of his daze but he couldn’t. “Hey, Richie... earth to Richie?” Eddie spoke as he shook a hand in front of his face to get his attention. The way his name sounded on his lips was the nail in his coffin. It all suddenly came to him, just as quickly as his world started to crumble and crash around him. He loved his best friend, Eddie Kaspbrak. 

Richie ran home that day, he was unsure how he made it home, and if he even said goodbye to Eddie as he ran off that day. Every moment from that realization was a complete blur. He remembered how he felt, though. The feeling of overwhelming guilt was as tangible as anything, so real it was almost as though he could reach into his memories and touch it. It was vivid, it was overwhelming, it was consuming. He felt as though he had used Eddie, even though he hadn’t. He felt as though he was keeping something from Eddie, even though he wasn’t. He couldn’t place why he felt that way, he just felt that way. He felt nauseous. He felt ill. 

But over time; those feelings of guilt lessened. Daydreaming about Eddie made them easier. Rather than focus on the bad, he focused on the good. Daydreaming about Eddie made him feel a lot happier, they took his mind off of his internalized homophobia that was too much for him to completely and complexly unpack and dissemble. Thinking about holding his hand, thinking about kissing him, thinking about putting on a pretty song and asking him to dance, thinking about being able to introduce him to people as his boyfriend made him dizzy. Made him lightheaded with love. It was hard, but it was easier. But, life couldn’t be easy for Richie. It was like an unspoken rule shared by fate and destiny that it couldn’t be. It was decidedly so. Because, just as Richie was slowly starting to come to terms with the fact he was in love with one of his two best friends, a few months later, he realized he was in love with the other one too. 

Richie could remember that day like it was yesterday, too. It wasn’t as unremarkably set as the day he realized he was in love with Eddie. It was July, it was the day of Stanley Uris’s bar mitzvah. It was sweltering heat, and he regretted wearing a suit with such thickly threaded fabric to the ceremony. If he would’ve known the Synagogue in Derry had such terrible air conditioning, he would’ve worn something more fitting. He and his mother were the only nonjewish people there that day in that entire synagogue, (or as Richie called it, ‘the church full of jews’; just to get under Stanley’s skin). None of the other losers were there that day, because his thirteenth birthday, when every jewish boy has their bar mitzvah, just happened to fall in a very unfortunate time. Ben kindly referred to it as their grace period, the others bluntly referred to it as the time before they went to go fight IT when Richie and Bill acted like jerks and had a huge fight that result in the temporary disbandment of the losers as they knew it. Richie hadn’t spoken to Stanley for about two weeks leading up to his 13th birthday. And shit, did he miss him. He missed him more than he knew he probably should. He missed him more than he missed Bev, Bill, Mike and Ben. He missed him as much as he missed Eddie, and he prayed to god that that didn’t mean what he dreaded it did. He missed the normal things, sure. He missed having somebody to laugh with, to talk with, to make fun of. But he also missed things that were more specific to Stanley, things that he supposed were fine to miss. He missed calling Stanley on the phone every night, he missed hearing about Stanley’s birdwatching adventures (a huge overuse of the word, adventure, Richie would admit), he missed hearing about the adorable rantings and ravings and ramblings about what birds he saw, and had yet to see. He missed Stanley’s sarcastic comments and his plentiful eye rolls. But he also missed some things that were a bit, peculiar to miss. He missed the way his curls sprung, and bounced up and down as he walked. He missed the way his eyes sparkled when he talked about something he was passionate about. He missed the way he coordinated the colours of his kippahs and his socks that were always perfectly rolled and ironed. And he knew he didn’t miss the way Mike’s curls looked. And he never even noticed if Bev’s eyes sparkled, let alone missed it. But Richie didn’t think it was entirely weird to miss those things in this case. Stanley Uris was his first ever friend, the loser he had known the longest. He’d never gone this long without speaking to him, or seeing him. This was weird. He didn’t like it, he refused to get used to it. So he went to his bar mitzvah. Partly because he hadn’t told his mother about the drama unfolding in his friend group, but mostly as an excuse to see Stanley. He didn’t even know why the fight had effected him and Stan in the first place, the fight was between him and Bill. Sure, it might be a little bit awkward, but he didn’t give a shit. Richie Tozier was a lot awkward, and he was sure some offensive jokes at each of their expenses would ease tensions and get things to be okay again. Richie had never been to a bar mitzvah before, but he was sure it wasn’t supposed to go how it had been going. Richie couldn’t take his eyes off Stanley as he gave his speech; for many reasons. In the congregations eyes, he was crashing and burning. In Richie’s eyes, it was beyond amazing. Richie admired the way that Stanley put aside his nervousness and anxiety about giving his speech in front of the people who expected far too much from him. He disregarded everything they expected from him as the son of their rabbi, and gave his own speech on his own terms. His heart swelled with pride more than it probably should have. He even got up to clap at some very inopportune times, being swiftly pulled down back to his seat and told to shut up by his mother. That was another thing Richie missed about Stanley, all the ‘beep-beep’s. They weren’t nearly as cute coming from anyone else. God he missed Stanley. Just being in the same room with him again lit his heart on fire. Stanley was beyond nervous giving his speech. He had prepared and rehearsed it a million times, he had a lot more free time now that he had no friends, but it still sounded as if he was making it up as he went along. But when he noticed Richie in the crowd, and their eyes met, Richie could see a sense of happiness wash over him. He was happy to see him, he was happy he was there. Richie was a unexpected, but welcomed surprise. A needed surprise. Richie gave him the confidence to continue, even though he didn’t know it. Richie couldn’t help but not take his eyes off Stanley for an overwhelming reason. He couldn’t believe how good he looked. Maybe it was because he missed him so much, he was able to take in more. He was like an addict getting high for the first time in months. He knew he could never go through withdrawals again, not after this. His curly hair was as neatly combed and taken care of as it always was since they were little kids, since Stanley was far too young to care about being neat. But, it was slicked back that day. The curls Richie loved and missed so much weren’t there that day. His olive skin and golden brown hair almost seemed to glow as the light from the stain glass windows hit his skin. He shined in a honey glow, his nervous smile sweet like honey too. He wore a suit that was perfectly buttoned and perfectly tidy. It fit him too well and he knew it. Richie knew he had to know it. He looked great. He nervously toyed with the tassels on the scarf thingy he wore as he spoke (it was certainly not called a scarf thingy, Stanley had told him more times than he could count that it was called a tallitot, Richie never bothered to remember. Mostly on purpose though- he thought it was so adorable how grumpy he got when he was annoyed.). Richie wanted to go up there and hold him, to hug him close to his chest and tell him that everything was going to be okay. He never wanted to see Stan like this again. He got a pang in his chest as he saw the uncomfortable uncertainty in his eyes, he never had such an overwhelming urge to protect somebody. It felt weird to feel like this, but he liked it. It felt nice and warm, he hadn’t felt this nice or warm since his friend group had their temporary falling out. It was nice to feel that way again. But that moment was not the moment he realized he loved him. No, this was the calm before the storm; the hissing sound the TNT makes just before it’s ready to explode. Richie knew he was in love with him after the bar mitzvah ceremony was over, and he had been looking for Stanley all throughout the banquet hall in the basement of the synagogue. He cursed himself though, when he realized he had forgotten the most obvious place in the world. He found Stanley outside the synagogue, in his favourite spot in the world. There was a secluded area that he found a second home, it was quiet, and secluded by the trees- but not too secluded; it was the perfect amount of hidden that allowed light to peer through the trees to be able to read. Stanley also saw a lot of birds there, too; none of which Richie could recall the names of though. Stanley looked so nervous when Richie found him there, he was pacing back and forth; consumed by his thoughts and his worries. Richie wondered what he could possibly be worrying about as he watched him, the worst had already happened- sure he crashed and burned but! It was done, and Richie thought he did great job anyways. Stanley finally noticed his presence, and put aside whatever their friend group’s drama was at that time; and hugged him. Richie didn’t ask questions, or have any sarcastic comments- he knew for whatever reason, Stanley needed this right now. And he would be more than happy to give it to him. He would let Stan be the one to speak first, just to make sure he would say the right things. Richie hugged him back tightly, and Stan hugged back even stronger. “You made it, you were the only one who came” Stanley’s voice was shaky, as if he had been crying. Richie hated that sound, he hated the thought of Stanley being upset, and he hated the feeling of uneasiness it gave him. Stanley spoke against Richie’s clothed shoulder, not wanting to look up in case he started to cry again. Richie smiled to reassure him even though he couldn’t see it, “I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” And he meant every word he said. Stanley was his first ever friend, so he wouldn’t ever turn his back on him; especially after Stanley had told the losers pretty much every single day how nervous he was for it; and how almost every day after school he had to study his hebrew in preparation for it. Stanley stayed exactly where he was, and Richie took that to be a bad sign, so he continued. “I wouldn’t take that personally. Most of them probably weren’t sure wether you would want them there or not. And I know a lot of their parents hate jews so they probably aren’t even allowed to come anyways. It has nothing to do with you” He joked, and Stanley finally laughed at the irony of what he had just said, and the hug they still shared felt easier, didn’t feel as intense. Stanley was choosing to be there, rather than needing to be there. Richie never felt happier to have made someone laugh. Richie would come to learn much later, that his words did nothing to ease his worries. He wasn’t sad that none of his other friends had come to his bar mitzvah (he was a little offended of course, but he was not sad); he was just still very overwhelmed from the experience- and was nervous about all the trouble he’d be in from embarrassing not only himself, but his family by going so off script during his speech. He was just happy that Richie was trying to make him happy. He was comforted by his actions, not the context of his words. He said as he hugged him again, his anxious shiver was gone now. Stanley quickly pulled away, though, and Richie felt cold in the absence of his touch. He wondered why he felt that way. Stanley looked at him with a peculiar disgust, “Your suit... its sticky,” he spoke with confusion, hinting the fact he might possibly not want to know with his tone. Richie thought for a moment and laughed as he remembered, and pulled a piece of cake wrapped in napkins from his pocket. “It’s your cake, I took a piece to give you when I found you- it is your cake after all, you should get to have a piece.” Richie said as he gave it to him, to his surprise Stanley took it. His sadness was but a faint memory now, lost to history forever. He thanked Richie kindly, and ate it. He was touched by the thoughtfulness of his actions. They sat there for awhile and talked, and Richie pretended to know a lot about birds whenever one flew by. “You know, there’s no one I’d rather blow off my b-day with, than you,” and Stanley laughed as he spoke, and waited for Richie to laugh too. “See, it’s funny because usually the b stands for birthday, but in this context it stands for bar mitzvah,” He explained in case Richie didn’t understand, which only made him laugh harder at his own terrible pun. Stanley had an odd sense of humour sometimes. In any other instance, if it was anyone else, Richie would have said either of the following, “I got it the first time, it just wasn’t very funny.” or, “It’s not a joke if you have to explain it,” but it was Stanley. He just smiled in awe of the beautiful sight of Stan’s smile. And that was when he knew. He contemplated why Stanley would be an exception to his sarcasm, usually he didn’t have any filter, why was Stan the exception? And the more he thought, more questions came to mind. He wondered why he even noticed Stanley’s smile in the first place. He didn’t know. The only thing he knew was that he had a huge problem on his hands. He grew sick as it dawned on him, a sickness he hadn’t felt with such ferocity since that autumn day with Eddie. 

When most boys liked a girl at a young age, they’d pull on her pigtails, or chase her around. That wasn’t Richie’s style. He had his own unique way of flirting. He made fun of the boys he liked, more so than he did anyone else. He made fun of Eddie and Stanley way more than the others, so much to the point he was worried his tell would become obvious. But it never was, and he was sure they hadn’t caught on. He was sure they’d dismiss it as just coming down to the fact that he had known Stanley the longest, and because Eddie lived closest to him so he was at his house a lot- or something like that. Richie hoped to god that they’d think it was something like that. Richie’s affections lay masked, hidden in plain sight; in the form of merciless teasing and annoying nicknames. He had truly confessed his love a hundred times over, but those confessions weren’t in “i love you”s. They were in every ‘Staniel!’ or ‘Eds!’. They were in every joke about Eddie’s height, or his asthma or his fannypacks that he changed depending on what day of the week it was. They were in every joke about Stanley being jewish, or the fact that he killed christ, or the fact that he had the same hobbies as every old man (and dressed like one too). And they would get annoyed, but never annoyed enough to be offended and leave. Annoyed enough to be endeared. And Richie fell deeper and deeper in love every time they stuck around, even after one kosher joke, or one “hey Eddie Spaghetti!” too many. 

And there he was; just as consumed by fear and agonizing self loathing as he was as a young boy. Waiting for relief that he had accepted would never come. If he entertained his thoughts for even a moment, he would quickly be consumed by them. He focused all his attention on the movie in front of him, the movie he had seen so many times he could probably quote it word for word. Words.. words... books have a lot of words in them... Stanley read a lot of books... Fuck!! No, no, no, no. He couldn’t do this. Not now. No mater how hard he tried to, he couldn’t shake them from his mind. They flourished in his mind because that’s the only place he thought they could ever truly be his. He can’t think about them right now though, which wouldn’t be a problem. ‘Think of something that isn’t related to Eddie Kaspbrak or Stanley Uris’, Richie knew that that couldn’t be impossible- lots of people did that all the time. He wasn’t one of those people, but he could learn to be! “This won’t be a problem” He thought to himself. Problem... problem... problemo... no problemo señor.. as he would say if he were doing one of his ‘voices’. That particular voice he used a lot... Eddie always hated that particular voice- FUCK! He was doing it again. He couldn’t think about them, especially while they were next to him, on his bed. Because then guilt comes back. He would feel gross for the rest of the night. It was so hard and so overwhelming. Pent up internalized homophobia made him see the world not as it was, but how he feared it would be. And above all, how he felt. And he felt awful. He had an overwhelming feeling that he had somehow tricked them. He didn’t even know why he felt that way, but he did. The feeling wasn’t tangible, or even rational, but he still felt that way. He knew they wouldn’t be sitting there with him, if they knew he was gay. And he knew that they wouldn’t even be his friends if they knew he liked one of them, let alone both of them. He hated the childishness of the sentiment, though. He hated the casual childishness of the term ‘like’; that such a strong and real emotion had been reduced to such a insignificant term. There was something about the word crush that seemed so frivolous, so trivial. But, he couldn’t think of anything better for it, so it would have to suffice. It had sufficed for too long, though. 

There was also a feeling of self loathing present too. Being alone with his thoughts made him feel dirty. He wasn’t even alone with them, Eddie and Stan were there with him too; but being trapped with them made him feel so alone. He felt like he needed to take a shower after dwelling on his thoughts for a second too long. Which was one of the saddest things about the whole situation. His thoughts were all completely normal, completely innocent. They weren’t wrong, they weren’t out of the ordinary- they were all just musings of a young man with a crush. Or in this case, a young man with crushes. But he had never let himself think this way. To rationalize it was to normalize it, and in Richie’s opinion, it wasn’t normal. He would never be normal. Which was a bit sadly hypocritical. He didn’t think Ben was being dishonest or misleading Bev by not being straightforward with his feelings toward her. And he didn’t think that Bev was dirty or deserved wither away in agonizing self loathing whenever she would gush about Bill when her and Richie had heart to heart talks over cigarettes; never once thinking she deserved to feel how he deserved to feel. But as previously stated; internalized homophobia clouded his vision. The world was not grey, he lived in a world full of black and white. Regardless of how much sense it didn’t make, Richie still felt the way he did. The feeling of disgust was there. Giving himself no choice but to wallow in feeling so dirty for looking at the way Eddie’s pyjama shorts rolled up his thighs as he sat beside him on his bed that night. Or the way the muscles in Stanley’s arms flexed as he turned the pages of his book on the other side of him- as disinterested as humanly possible in the movie Richie made them watch. If it was any other person, Richie would have thought it was beyond rude to bring a book to a sleep over. But Richie always found how much Stanley loved to read so endearing, and the way he could get so entranced in a book so adorable. Richie couldn’t even remember the last time he read a book, let alone to completion- but Stanley seemed to read a new book about some, in Richie’s opinion, boring shit every week. And he thought it equally as adorable that Eddie always got just as excited about whatever Stanley was reading as he was. Eddie was always such a warm, inclusive person; and he would always try to make everyone always feel at home and feel valued. Richie would always feel his heart soar when Stanley would eagerly tell Eddie something he had read, or a bird he had seen and Eddie would pay attention to his every word, looking at him as though his attention would never be elsewhere again. It made him so happy to see his boys get along. He felt stupid for thinking of it that way. They weren’t ‘his boys’ they were his friends. They were his best friends. Nothing more, nothing less. He was more than happy to have his friendship. He was the luckiest guy in the world to be able to call such caring, empathetic, levelheaded guys his best friends. But he wanted more, he wanted more more than anything in the world. He would fight pennywise singlehandedly by himself if it meant that that would make that possible- not that he wanted that to be an open invitation. He pushed that specific thought out of his head, trying to appease whatever deity or whatever was in charge of fate to not take that as a challenge. Careful to not push all thoughts out of his head though. He needed to focus on something right now, anything right now. Lord knew the movie was not keeping his attention, especially not with Eddie Spaghetti and Stan Urine- his two great loves on either side of him. Calling them those stupid nicknames in his head backfired though, they didn’t put him off or make him laugh; they just reminded him how much he loved them- almost falling in love even harder to spite himself. He’d always lose the battle against himself, and more specifically his feelings- he’d come to find out. Which he felt was extremely unfair. He remembered reading something, or more accurately: he remembered Stanley reading something and him telling him about it, that if two foes were evenly matched, they would be locked in combat forever. And I guess he knew by all the victories his emotions had over him; he knew that they were not evenly matched. That probably should have drawn him to the conclusion that he shouldn’t try to fight his feelings, but Richie wasn’t ready for that yet. 

He was trying so hard to watch the movie, he really, really was. But it was so damn difficult, and Stan made it even more difficult than it already was. He lent over Richie to show Eddie something in the book he was reading. Normally, he couldn’t have cared less, but; Stan was so close to him- his face inches away from Richie’s as he lent over him. The minor pressure of his chest on top of his was light as a feather, but still soul crushing. He was so close, yet so far away. So unattainable. Richie tried to look away, but he couldn’t. Partially because Stan’s messy curly hair was blocking his view of the TV, but because he couldn’t. Why look away from the breathtakingly beautiful face that was before him. God he wished the movie would get more interesting soon- he was begging for a jump scare, a murder- anything! Anything to take his mind off of this. As if it wasn’t hard enough to look away, to distract himself- Eddie was actually interested in whatever Stan was showing him. Some interesting fact- or witty remark made my a character- Richie didn’t know, Richie didn’t give a shit. Eddie leaned over him now too, to see what Stan was showing him more up close. Which meant Richie could in turn see him more up close, and holy shit what a sight it was. They were both so pretty, so pretty it hurt. If he was being forced to be inches away from their faces, he might as well enjoy himself, right? God, he couldn’t help but look at their lips- they each looked so soft. Eddie’s were a bit thinner than Stan’s; but had a more defined cupid’s bow Richie noticed. Definitely not for the first time, this was a reoccurring anecdote. Eddie’s were shinier too, from all the chapstick he was always putting on. (“Richie, I swear to God. Do you even know how many infections you can get in cracks if your lips are chapped? Don’t even get me started-“ He would always say). Eddie’s lips were soft pink, and Stan’s were a bit darker to coincide with his olive skin. Richie couldn’t help but notice Stan tug on his bottom lip between his teeth as he waited for Eddie’s approval and validation of whatever he had showed him- wanting to know he thought it was interesting too. Stan was so adorable, they both were. God, he could look at them for hours; he shouldn’t even look at them like this- at all. But god, he really could look at them for hours And he wouldn’t mind doing that either. He also wouldn’t mind getting to see if their lips were as soft as they looked. He wondered how they’d feel; and longed for the day he could find out. Shit, he wondered how it would feel to watch them kiss each other- he’d take anything at this point. No. He was not going to continue that train of thought. This was just torture at this point, and it was going to stop right now. “Guys. I’m trying to watch the movie-“ Not because he wanted to watch the movie, not because he even gave a shit about it right now. He needed to diffuse this situation, to get them a bit further from him. It was so overwhelming for him, and they didnt even know it. Richie spoke, very, very slowly. He was trying so hard to conceal how flustered he was; and a shaky voice was a dead give away. He didn’t even want them to focus on the movie, he didn’t want them to leave- knowing full well he had already, yet again, got addicted to their subtle touches. But Stanley practically on top of him was too much, he couldn’t do this. He was in fucking agony, his heart beat was so feverish against his chest he thought he could break a rib bone. 

Stanley spoke slowly too, but it wasn’t anywhere near as much of a challenge to do so, and Richie knew that. Because this small intimacy was nothing to him, and it broke Richie’s heart to know that. “Haven’t you seen this movie 100 times, who cares if I’m interrupting,” Stan asked, a hazy laughter in his voice. Stan didn’t move, or even shift in his seat, and neither did Eddie. If anything, Eddie only got closer. He got more comfortable, and situated himself there. He moved a bit closer so he could see the pages of Stan’s book a bit clearer, and placed his hand lazily on Richie’s thigh to steady himself and give himself something to lean his weight on. Something so small and insignificant to Eddie, but Richie was having heart palpitations under his touch. Richie felt his mouth go dry and his cheeks grow hot- no matter what he was going to say, his words would fail him. His words could even give him away. He felt worse and worse the longer this continued on. His two best friends getting more comfortable and closer to him, was in their eyes an annoying act of defiance. To Richie, it was going to be the death of him. He could almost feel his brain short circuiting as he used the last bit of functioning thought that wasnt preoccupied to come up with a comeback. “Yah well... you’ve read 100 books and, if you’ve read one haven’t you read them all??” He retorted. Amateur hour... he cursed himself for the weak comeback. There was nothing offensive or corny about any of that, Stan and Eddie knew him best- and they were bound to know something was up now. Stanley didn’t say anything, though- but laughed at the sheer ridiculousness of what Richie had said- but also questioning within the confines of his own thoughts if Richie had actually meant that. He wouldn’t be surprised if he did.

Richie was sure whatever the main characters in the horror movie that played in the background of all of this was going through- was nothing compared to the torture he was going through right now. If Eddie didn’t move his hand from his leg soon.. and if Stanley didn’t straighten his posture so that the collar of his baggy sleep shirt didn’t expose more of his collar bone.. and if their skin didn’t stop looking so pretty in contrast with the glow from the tv screen, the purple light somehow drawing more attention to all their best features- Richie was going to scream. Or cry. Or maybe even both. Not because he didn’t like it, or because he didn’t think they both looked absolutely beautiful (or as Stan wouldve smartly put it with words Richie didn’t understand, ethereal) or because even wanted any of this to be over. He loved it, he just hated that he loved it, and how much he loved it. Because he knew he wasn’t supposed to. He was only hurting himself by wanting so amazingly unattainable, but he couldn’t stop himself. As always, Eddie was sure to go on a tangent now that he figured out what he was going to say. And as always, that tangent would be directed at Richie. Richie pretended to be annoyed when Eddie got annoyed with him, but truth be told he loved it. He would purposefully antagonize him just to be the centre of those rants, the centre of his attention- even if just for a small moment. Stan’s attention was easier to get, he was always an attentive and easy going person- and it didn’t take much to get a sarcastic remark from him. But Eddie, Eddie was a joy to behold when he got all fired up. They were so different in that way, and Richie loved that about both of them. It was only a few seconds, but to Richie it felt like hours; but after a bit, Eddie finally snickered and responses to what he had just heard. “Fuck off, Richie. That’s not how books work- maybe if you read more you’d know that.“ He spoke, his pace quickening as he did so. He wasn’t speaking quickly because he was in a rush to speak, or to act- he stayed perfectly still as he ranted. His mind just moved a million miles a minute when he had a lot to say, and his mouth never struggled to keep up with that. And Richie could attest to the fact that his thoughts were always vocalized. Whereas Stanley could get by with just an eye roll. There was a saying that went, ‘the calm before the storm’, and how Richie saw things- Stanley was the calm, and Eddie was the storm- and he loved them both so much for that dynamic. They completed each other in that way. They completed him, too. Richie laughed snidely, and prepared to say something but the look on Eddie’s face indicated he wasn’t done speaking. Very thankful he wasn’t done though. Because the end of a sentence indicated the end of a conversion was near, and the end of a conversion meant the beginning of silence. Obviously. But, not so obvious- was the imprisonments Richie felt in those silences; he was very much a prisoner to the confines of his thoughts, the racing’s of his heart and the burning of his self hatred and guilt. And, quite frankly, on a less angsty note- he liked hearing the sound of Eddie’s voice. He thought it got slightly adorably high pitched when he was mad, and he enjoyed the fire in his eyes whenever he ranted- no matter how small or insignificant the subject. “Besides you were so rude to Stanley in blockbuster he shouldn’t have to-“ He continued, crossing his arms. Richie scoffed, and thanked whatever God was up there that in that act of Eddie demonstrating his annoyance, he had finally removed his hand, and sat up a bit straighter. He wasn’t touching him anymore, his skin wasn’t even grazing against his; one down- one to go. Richie actually properly laughed this time, which only set Eddie off more. He furrowed his brows and waited for Richie to say whatever he was going to say, and no doubt getting ready to interject and interrupt him whenever he started talking. Richie couldn’t help but notice how adorable he looked. “How was I rude to Stan??? Stan.. Stan the man, back me up here. Was I rude to you??” And they both looked to Stan to agree with either one of them. Richie blushed at the realization that they sort of sounded like the ‘bickering like an old married couple’ stereotype. An old married throuple in this case, he supposed. But he came back down to earth and realized- they were not a trouple, and they sure as hell weren’t married. His heart hurt at the realization. When he came back. Oh god, he hated when he did that. Daydreams couldnt last forever, even if you weren’t asleep yet. Stan smiled fondly at the both of them, his warm eyes a bit half lidded out of exhaustion- mental and physical. Richie felt warm in the radiance of that smile, and grew whole again. Stan always had that effect on him. As always, Stan was the mediator. “Rich... when are you not mean to us..” He said jokingly, and both Eddie and Richie laughed. Stan was quiet and soft spoken, and could diffuse any situation no matter the tension levels. Everything felt good when they were all there together. Richie was rude and loud mouthed, Eddie was feisty, and Stanley was quiet and eloquent- they needed each other. Their dynamic was the best together. Without Richie, who would Eddie get mad at, who would Stanley eyeroll at? Without Eddie, who would Richie annoy, and whos side would Stanley have left always take? Without Stanley, who would calm Richie and Eddie down and keep them from killing each other?? They were the light of each others lives, truly and honestly. They needed each other more than they knew. And as always, Stan was the mediator. Stan looked at Eddie, and they both scared a knowing look. Richie wasn’t sure what they knew, but they knew something. “Fine, we’ll keep quiet.” He concluded softly, a reassuring smile as present as always on his lips, as he closed his book and set it on Richie’s messy nightstand next to his bed. He moved off Richie too, finally. Richie missed the feeling of both of them, though. Their presence had a comforting quality, even though he hated himself for being so comforted by it. He supposed he would always be tormented by his complexities. He flip flopped on how he felt in their presence a lot. On one hand he knew he had to stop everything before it started, before he could allow himself to feel, before he could allow himself to have any false sense of hope. But on the other, he couldn’t get enough of the microscopically small hits of intimacy they had shared. As much as he tried to, he couldn’t suppress the rush their interactions gave him; he was head over heels. Stanley and Eddie refound their places, a bit of a distance from Richie, and for the first time all night actually made an effort to watch. 

Perfectly planned, however it wasn’t at all so. It had just fallen into place that way. About five minutes into Stan and Eddie making a serious attempt to watch the movie, there was jump scare. Richie was so desensitized to horror movies, in equal parts due to his traumatic childhood sewer endeavours, and because he had seen so many of them repeatedly; that he didn’t even flinch. But Stanley and Eddie did a lot more than just flinch. Richie always wondered why they were so easily scared by things, not even relating to horror movies- scared by anything, in a broader sense. They had lived though hell, fought hell- and survived the fight to be able to talk about it. Nothing should scare them anymore, nothing scared Richie anymore. The only thing that scared him was his friends and family finding out he was gay; and tragic as that was, at least he wasn’t a nearly 18 year old who still got the creeps from Freddie Kruger or Jason Voorhees. Richie would’ve questioned their reactions if he had any capacity for rational thought in the midst of their sudden reactions. Their sudden reactions were more of a jump scare than whatever the fuck the directors of the movie could’ve made. They both jumped and snuggled into Richie to hide the tv from their line of sight as a kneejerk reaction to being so frightened. It was so perfectly timed it almost seemed planned but it was not. Richie would swear on a bible, and a torah too if it meant Stan would believe him that that moment was not planned. They fit so perfectly into the crook of his neck on either side, and Richie tried not to shiver at the feeling of their hot panicked breath on his cold skin. He felt strong for a moment, proud that they turned to him for a fleeting moment of protection. He remembered that old cliche of the boyfriend making his girlfriend watch a scary movie so she’d get scared and he would comfort her; and blushed profusely at the intrusive thought in the back of his mind. And quickly grew sad at the realization that that was the closest to being either of their boyfriends as he would ever come. Neither of the boys had left his side, still holding onto him for dear life as they were too scared to look if the scene was over. He felt Stanley tense up and hold him tighter as he heard the ominous music in the background of the scene intensify. He felt Eddie burry his face even deeper into Richie’s messy hair. He even felt Eddie tremble a bit, and felt sad that he couldn’t comfort him like a boyfriend could. Because he knew he’d be a great boyfriend if he was given the chance. When he was around 14, he bargained with the universe and made a promise- that if he was ever lucky enough to have either of them, or unfathomably lucky enough to have both of them; he would be the best boyfriend ever. One could only dream, though. He felt like he had died and gone to heaven, but came back down from the highs his fantasies allowed him to escape to and he felt like he was in hell. If only they knew the truth, they wouldn’t be this close to him. They wouldn’t feel so safe around him. It lit a fire of burning self hatred and guilt that rarely came out in such strong force. It was too much, he was starting to crumble. Before he knew it, he couldn’t keep it in any more, and without any warning or seemingly any cause, he started to cry. It was so much for him, too much for him. He felt so bad, like he had taken advantage of them even though he hadn’t. The universe wouldn’t let Richie have nice things, and it seemed as though Richie was working in cahoots with the universe against himself. 

Stanley and Eddie heard this, even though Richie tried his hardest to keep quiet, and to keep his tears to a minimum but his glasses started to fog and his tears started to sting. It was no use to try and hide it. The two boys put aside both of their previous feelings of terror and acted as if nothing had just happened, this wasn’t about them anymore. Stanley spoke first, “Wait.. are you actually scared?” the question was not at all judgmental, though the way it was phrased could appear so. It was spoken with gentleness and carefulness, in a way only Stanley could speak. Richie thought for a moment, and was sure Stan didn’t have it in him to be genuinely judgemental- sure, he eye rolled sometimes. But that was always out of annoyance, never judging. Maybe his secret was safe with them tonight. He started to wrestle with the idea now. He was super glad that their minds immediately went to the cause of this meltdown being movie related. And Richie was more than tempted to run with that belief. It would sure as hell be easier than coming out, on his bed, in a sobbing mess. Eddie sighed with concern, “It’s just a movie, Richie... I... I’m sorry for shouting earlier-“ His voice immediately tainted with regret, and that made Richie even sadder- that was the furthest thing from the cause of his tears. If only he knew. Maybe he should know. Stanley and Eddie looked at him with such care and tenderness Richie thought he was going to burst- he was so lovestruck and so prematurely heartbroken he didn’t even know what to do anymore. His feelings had been eating away at him for so long, he was sure there wasn’t anything left anymore. “It’s- Its not that I-“ They each put a hand on his arm, and ran a calming hand through his hair in unison. It was a comforting unison that felt so right- it was almost planned. But wasn’t, that’s just how the stars had aligned. Fate was cruel. Fate was cruel, and fate was evil, and did things like this to give boys like Richie hope. Their tender act of trying to coax the reason out of him broke him even further, and he cried even harder. He was so embarrassed, he probably looked like a mess and sounded like an even bigger mess. But he didn’t care, he knew he was in good company- the company of his best friends who he knew loved him, even if it started and ended with just a best friend kind of love, that was still something. He was addicted to their touches, and the way their soothing hands felt in his hair and on his arm would no doubt lead to an overdose. They stayed like that, for awhile. The screams and soundtrack of the horror movie serving as the backdrop of all of this. Neither Eddie or Stan knew why Richie was so upset, but they knew he was very upset- and judging by the way he was sobbing hysterically; was very upset with excellent cause. So, they let him work himself up to the point where he felt that he could turn to them for help. Because Richie didn’t always talk out his issues at first. And they were willing and able to give him all the space and time that he needed. They always had, and hoped they always could. Richie hardly ever cried in front of anyone, he was always the one who tried to console everyone. He didn’t exactly have a way with words, but that didn’t stop him from trying to make his friends feel better. He’d try his absolute hardest to make them laugh, or at least smile, when they were upset. Richie kept so much in, and Stan and Eddie knew that. They didn’t know to what extent, but they knew that Richie kept hell of a lot in. They knew that whenever Richie did reach a breaking point, and finally let some of his emotions out- that meant that pretty much everything had gone to shit. They were happy that Richie trusted them enough to be so vulnerable, because they knew vulnerability was so hard for him. They stayed silent until they knew he wanted them to speak, one of Richie’s many nonverbal queues they had become experts in over the many years of friendship. Richie sat there, and cried. He relished in the fleeting moments of happiness Eddie and Stan’s touches gave him. He felt so loved and taken care of as Stan stroked his cheek affectionately and Eddie wiping his tears away. It felt almost too good to be true, he felt so lucky to have them even though he didn’t really even have them. He not only relished in this moment of tenderness, but treasured them. Because he knew that once he told them the truth, once he told them the reason behind his tears- moments of tenderness and intimacy would never come like this again. But the more he bawled, the more he sort of made an odd sort of peace with that. And he had replayed this moment so many different ways in each of his worst nightmares, and every scenerio always ended terribly. He decided that this was as good a time as any. If they were all going to end badly, then he should at least just get it over with. And a small part of him hoped, and an even smaller part believed; that his life was not as tragic as he feared it to be. A sudden moment of clarity came to him, that he should hold them to a higher standard- just because seemingly almost everyone in his life were homophobic, didn’t mean they were. He had never pictured his coming out story coming to the embarrassing, unexpected ending of him crying on his bed at 11:30PM, while being comforted by Stan and Eddie. So maybe, things would go differently because of the wild card. Expect the unexpected, right? But nevertheless, in that moment he had decided that this moment, was as good as any. And perhaps he deserved the freeing of himself by telling them this. Maybe he deserved for the weight of the world to be lifted off of his shoulders. Richie could always hold onto his maybes, even if he hated himself for it. 

“You don’t have to tell us if you don’t want to.....” Stanley continued, running a steady hand through Richie’s hair to calm him down a bit, and it worked a bit too. He felt a bit infantilized by the way Stan combed his bangs behind his ear so they wouldn’t get into his eyes, but he kind of liked it. He could get used to them fawning over him like this. “Just know that, we’re always here for you if you want to tell us...” Eddie spoke softly, gently touching his cheek as he wiped his tears away. He could really get used to that. Eddie’s soft finger tips against his skin made his heart skip beats. And he almost wanted to pull away from both of them, out of fear his heart would literally give out. “It’s n-not that I- I- I- just... I just don’t know if I can tell you,” He whimpered out, words were getting even harder for him now. Eddie and Stan both laughed. Not in a mean way, or a snide way, or a condescending way. It was the same kind of laugh someone makes when they hear a child say something so nonsensical they can’t think of anything else to say. They laughed at the impossibility of that; they laughed at the impossibility that there was anything Richie could ever say that would make them stop caring for him. Because they loved him so much, and always would. They knew Richie knew that, but they also knew Richie wasn’t himself when he was afraid. And Richie knew that that’s what their laughter meant. and he was made a bit happier by that, but not at all comforted. “If only they knew...” Was all he could think. “Richie, you can tell us anything, we’re your best friends and we love you... there isn’t anything that you should be afraid to tell us,” Stanley spoke again, his voice smooth and slow as honey, his slow tone steadied Richie’s racing heart. Not by much, but by some. But that was the thing, Richie wasn’t just afraid. He was petrified. And Eddie looked at Stan, and then back at Richie; in a way that was to say that he wholeheartedly agreed with everything Stan had just said. And Richie was sure there was some sort of meaning in that, there had to be a metaphor in there somewhere. There was something about that, that made him burst into tears in a way that made his last outburst look like nothing. He sobbed, and spoke in a mumbled voice, but overcompensated for the mumbling by speaking louder. He wanted them to hear this, enough was enough. He thought about maybe making something up to get him out of this situation. Maybe say that he was just really upset because his parents had been fighting recently, or something.., anything! Anything to get him out of this. But, they knew him better than that. He knew they wouldn’t believe any excuse he gave them, because nothing else would make him feel so much, except them. He knew he had to be honest, he was backed into a corner and nothing else was going to get him out of it, except the truth. “Do you promise you mean that?” He could barely even get the words out, and Stan and Eddie ran calming hands down his sides. “We promise, Richie,” they spoke at the same time. Richie felt like a fucking needy child, but he nevertheless needed to hear them say that. For his own peace of mind. “Please- please, don’t think of me differently. Or be mad at me, or stop hanging out with me. Please- you guys mean so much to me. I- I- Holy shit, I’m stuttering worse than Bill right now,” He joked to lighten the mood a bit, Eddie and Stan laughed to humour him, and waited for him to patiently say whatever he needed to say. They knew he was only stalling, and they would let him take all the time he needed. “I’m gay!! I’m gay- I’ve known since I was like 11. Or maybe longer. I’m not sure.. Holy shit... And I just can’t keep it in anymore. I’m sorry- I’m sorry I didn’t tell you guys- I was just scared. Please don’t hate me over this I’m sorry-“He blurted out before he could convince himself to not say anything at all, and he sobbed even harder. He waited patiently for them to say something, but was too scared to look at them ad he waited. The seconds felt like hours, and he couldn’t help but worry if he had made a terrible mistake. “I understand if you guys wanna go home- and I even understand if you guys don’t wanna hang out with me ever again,” He spoke quietly, and Eddie and Stan swore they could hear their hearts shatter. They hated to see how sad he was, how scared he was of their reaction. They knew Richie, though. They knew his fear wasn’t a reflection of how poorly he thought of them, that he thought they could be narrowminded or that cruel. It was a reflection of how poorly he thought of himself, and it was fucking heartbreaking. They wished more than anything he could see what they saw, they wished he could love himself the way they loved him. This had clearly been eating away at him, and it was so fucking sad to see. He was in pieces, and they were more than willing to put him back together.

But rather than tell him, it was all going to be okay, and that they loved him anyways, and that they always would. And that they were best friends, and always would be- and something as simple as his sexuality would ever change that. He didn’t do that, because those were just words- and he knew that Richie was beyond rational thought in this state. More so than usual. He knew he could say all of that, in just the right way, and Richie still wouldn’t believe him. Stanley supposed it would be better to prove to him, that it was all going to be okay. Because truth be told, he had a few secrets of his own. And maybe if Richie knew some of them, he wouldn’t feel so bad. And if he came clean about a few things too, at least Richie wouldn’t feel so exposed. Richie sat there, and supposed it was a pretty good sign that Eddie and Stan hadn’t stopped trying to console him, and they were still gently touching him to get him to calm down. That in itself, lifted some of the weight on his shoulders. However, he still felt like Atlas; and that the weight of the world was still very much on his shoulders. It was a bit of an easier burden now, though. 

Stanley took a breath to steady himself as he spoke, filling piercing the silence of the quiet room, previously only filled with Richie’s sobs. This was an extremely hard thing for him to confess as well, not as hard, but still very, very difficult. He had struggled with his own sexuality for years now, but, he was nothing without his composure. “If there’s something wrong with you being gay than.. there’s something wrong with me too,” Stanley spoke, and Richie choked back tears and tried to hold back a surprised gasp, “Wait.. Wait really?” Richie asked, and he looked at Stan’s face, which glowed with sincerity and kindness. And Richie couldn’t help but smile. Stanley nodded, returning the smile tenfold. Richie looked over to Eddie’s face, which was impossible to read, as always. Richie was however, very careful to squash all the hope that had just crept into his desperate heart. Stanley wiped away one of Richie’s tears, and he smiles, and it was a comforting smile that made Richie feel a lot better. Stanley always had a calming effect on him. “Yah Richie, yah I am.” and Eddie was deep in thought for a moment, and that moment felt like a century for him, and blurted out, “And if there’s something wrong with you being gay, and Stanley being gay.. then there’s something wrong with me being bisexual too.” Eddie said, running a hand through Richie’s messy hair, Richie shuddered at the touch. It was said awkwardly; but it made Richie feel a lot better. Eddie saw the look of question on his face, and smiled and nodded in confirmation before he could even ask if he was serious or not. Richie’s heart was going to burst, he felt so much better. He felt accepted, he felt at home. For the first time in years, he didn’t feel the crushing weight against his chest of trying to keep a secret. It wasn’t so wrong anymore, he wasn’t gross, he wasn’t disgusting, he wasn’t a bad friend. Most importantly, he wasn’t alone. But the feeling of guilt washed over him again like waves crashing on a shore. Just because they weren’t disgusted by his sexuality, doesn’t mean they wouldn’t be disgusted by the fact he liked them. Just because they weren’t straight, didn’t mean that they would like him. He had spent so many years torpedoing any hope of happiness with them before the hopes even bloomed that he couldn’t believe it to be true even if it was. And even so. If they didn’t think that it was awful that he liked them, they were surely going to think it was awful that he liked both of them- or so he thought. He hated himself more and more as the words left his mouth. God, they were going to think he was such a pervert. Who liked two people at the same time? They were going to feel so gross, so used; and Richie wouldn’t even be able to blame them. Even though, most of his fantasies and daydreams weren’t even sexual. Obviously, a lot were- but most weren’t! His favourite ones weren’t, anyways. He daydreamed about one day having a beautiful home, with a nice white picket fence. It would be neat and clean because Stan kept it so, and it would be germ free and safe because Eddie kept it so. They would have a flower garden in the back so Stanley’s favourite birds would come to dwell, and he would wake up next to Eddie and Stanley every morning too. He would always be happy when it was just the three of them. Even though most of his daydreams were pure and happy, Richie still felt disgusting, he felt so abnormal. They say in moments of near death, your life flashes before your eyes. And as Richie was about to speak, his friendship with Stan and Eddie replayed before his eyes. He couldn’t even call it a highlight reel, because every moment was a highlight. Even when they told him to shut up and told him to stop embarrassing them, because they balanced him out; he needed their reason and their sense. They completed him. He thought about all the memories they’d made, every sleep over that would never happen again. They were going to think he was so gross. They were going to hate him. “And even if we weren’t, something like that would never make us not want to be your friend...” Stanley stated, “We love you way too much to ever do something like that,” Eddie continued, in the same soft tone too. It made Richie’s heart ache. Because they knew they meant that, but they didn’t mean it. And he knew they never would. Why he was even considering the idea of even telling them, he had no idea. But if he was already baring his soul to them, maybe he might as well clear his conscience. “No b-b-but... that isn’t.. that isn’t even the worst part I... I...” Why was he even doing this, he didn’t know. He was testing the water, staring down the barrel of a loaded gun, whatever analogy you wanted to use. He was tempting fate, why he was even considering telling them, he had no idea. It was thrilling, though, in a sick way. The same way that going into the sewers with his friends all those years ago was thrilling. Richie broke down for the last time that night, and sobbed as he spoke. It was now or never. He would never have the confidence, as misguided and misdirected as it was, to do this ever again. He had already poked the bear that was fate so many times that night, maybe he would be able to walk away from this alive. Maybe he could walk away from this with his heart still intact. He looked at Eddie, and looked at him with fear and anticipation. “I love you,” And Eddie’s face was overtaken by shock, emotionless shock though. He needed time to process what he had just said. He turned to look at Stanley now. “...and I love you!!” And Stanley’s face mirrored Eddie’s, and Richie supposed his thoughts process probably did as well. Richie couldn’t bare to look at any of them anymore, and alternated from nervously looking at the ceiling, or at the tv, or closing his eyes so they didn’t sting from the flow of tears filling them. “I. I’ve liked you guys for so long, way too long. This isn’t just like a.. new thing. Which I guess makes it worse- I’ve loved you both for so long. I feel like i’m lying to you guys!! You wouldn’t be lying so close to me if you knew that I loved you. I’m so disgusting... I like both of you. God, I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t mean to love both of you- it.. it just sort of happened. Holy fuck I-” He cried, but stopped speaking. He stopped speaking not because he didn’t have anything left to say, but out of a fear that he had said too much. He was completely on display, and even though he was fully clothed- he had never, ever felt so bare. He waited for Stan and Eddie to say something, anything. But they hadn’t. His heart was beating so profusely it was a wonder it didn’t burst through his chest. Though it had only been a few moments, his anxiety was getting the better of him; he wasn’t a patient person in the best of times. He wanted to scream at the top of his lungs for them to say something, anything. He was owed a response, even if it was a negative response. He had bared his soul, they couldn’t say nothing. His lungs failed him though, he felt as though everything in him was deflated, he had no air to speak with. It felt weird to not have that secret tugging at him anymore, he couldn’t decide wether that was a good or bad type of weird though. He supposed that would be determined by their response. Holy shit, could they just say something??

Never in his wildest dreams, had be expected what Stanley was about to say to be one of those ‘somethings’. “Richie, honey, you think we don’t know that?” He curled a strand of hair between his fingers as he spoke, and Richie turned bright red at that. He wanted Stanley to call him honey, over and over again. He wanted more than anything, for Stanley to call him his, but honey would be good too. His tone was different now, his words were smoother, and there was a confidence to his voice now as well. “Youve been pretty terrible about hiding it, this whole time...” Eddie returned the tone, there was intent behind both of their voices... intention to do what; Richie wasn’t sure. They spoke in perfect unison, finishing each other’s thoughts. They were on the exact same page but Richie couldn’t be more clueless. He was completely and totally embarrassed, but they weren’t reacting badly to what he had just said; at least not yet anyways. So maybe there was still hope. He was completely entranced by the way they were speaking, and looking at him. Their eyes grew increasingly more halflidded, and their eyes darkened a bit with an emotion he couldn’t quite put his finger on. “Yah Richie, we can tell when someone’s staring at us” Richie felt his face grow hot as Stan spoke. He thought he had been so lowkey this whole time, apparently not. He wondered how long they knew, how long his secret had been out unbeknownst to him. He wondered if it was as obvious to everyone else as well; or if they just knew because they knew him the best. If the other losers knew it too, he was sure he would implode due to embarrassment. “And just because our backs are turned doesn’t mean we can’t tell, either” Eddie informed, laughing a bit as he spoke. Richie really had no idea how to keep a secret, he was by no means a man of mystery. He supposed he had been walking around with his heart on his sleeve the whole time, and he was the only one who was oblivious to it. “Like when we go swimming.... or when our backs are turned in the locker rooms after gym class” What Stanley had just said had genuinely shocked him, he was always so sure that the stares he stole and glances he took were his secret, and his alone. What Stanley had said, shocked him- but what Eddie was about to say, completely fucking floored him. “But that doesn’t mean we weren’t looking at you either...” Eddie’s words, and the tone he said them in; completely shocked him. It was a wonder how he hadn’t fainted. He wasn’t sure what was more sinful, the tone Eddie spoke in or the way Stanley was looking as he listened. If Richie’s cheeks weren’t burning before, they were definitely on fire now. He thought he could kind of follow what they were hinting at, but he wasn’t taking any chances. This wasn’t really happening, this couldn’t be. He had spent so many years hating himself for liking both of them, and reassuring himself over and over again that they would never, EVER, like him back. He was going to need them to spell it out, letter by letter, to reassure himself that he wasn’t jumping to conclusions. He needed to know that this was really happening, he needed to know that he wasn’t just going to wake up and realize this was all a tragic dream in 2 minutes. He had been down that road way too many times; he’d always wake up right before anything would happen. “So... you guys... you guys? Like me??” He stuttered terribly as he felt their hot breaths ghost against the skin of his cheeks. And they kiss his cheeks softly, Richie felt so overwhelmed by the softness of their lips against his skin. Lips that he had been dreaming about for so long. “Look, we know we always say.. ’Beep, beep, Richie’, this... and ‘Beep, beep, Richie’, that... and act so annoyed by you all the time-“ Eddie mused softly, “And while you are annoying, we wouldn’t change anything about you. You’re so.. so cute all the time Richie.. those hawaiian shirts you always wear...” Stanley continued from Eddie’s statement, tracing patterns against his chest, “And the way your glasses fog up when you’re nervous...” Eddie whispered, a whisper that drove Richie wild, “And you’re always so kind and sweet too...”. Richie asked again, he was sure this was not for real. “Wait. You guys, really, actually like me?” And Stanley and Eddie both giggled, “Yes!!! Of course we like you, we’re just a lot better at hiding it.” Stan spoke in a whisper that drove Richie completely wild. Eddie and Stanley look over at each other, and have a silent conversation, “And we were thinking...” Eddie cut himself off, and looked at Stanley once more to make sure they were still on the same page, and continued “Maybe we could show you how much we like you...” Richie was out of breath and they hadn’t even done anything. Eddie’s lips were dangerously close to his as he spoke, he had never felt so dizzy. Eddie inched closer and closer, “Please...” Richie mewled as Eddie closed the gap between their lips once and for all. He sounded so vulnerable, but he couldn’t think of anything else to say. He was so shocked that this was all happening, he was so happy. He had reached a happiness he thought would never be possible. 

His breath hitched as he felt Stanley’s lips on his neck. He melted into the kiss as Stanley lapped his tongue over the soft skin of his neck, softly toying at the flesh there between his teeth. He sucked on it softly, no doubt leaving marks. The more evidence of tonight, the better; Richie thought to himself. Stanley traced the bruises over with his tongue as they purpled, Richie moved his neck into his touch, nonverbally begging for more. He needed more, he needed more so bad. Richie bit at Eddie’s lip as Stanley sunk his teeth into his skin again, Eddie whined in pleasure and hoped he’d do that again. Richie swirled his tongue around Eddie’s and sucked on it profusely. He wasn’t exactly sure what to do, he had never imagined himself getting this far, he was only doing what felt right. It then dawned on him, he didn’t know what to do because he had never done this before. It hit him suddenly in that moment, his first was going to be Eddie. And the first person to ever give him a hickey was Stanley. He could say that, it wasn’t just a dream anymore. The proof was on his neck, and the sounds Eddie made as he kissed him deeper. He felt as if he had died and gone to heaven- but he knew damn well he wasn’t dead. As he knew it was impossible for a dead man to be this turned on. He couldn’t get over Eddie’s and Stanley’s heavenly whimpers and moans, and the sounds their mouths made. He knew they wanted him just as badly as he wanted them. Richie rolled his tongue over Eddie’s one last time. Eddie pulled away, his lips were a bit swollen and a bit red and Richie thought he’d never seen Eddie look better. A thin string of saliva connected their lips. He trailed kisses down the right side of Richie’s neck, quickly sucking hickies into the skin that was there to match the ones left by Stanley on the left. Stanley’s lips were just as soft as he’d always imagined they would be- just like Eddie’s. Stanley wasn’t a better kisser than Eddie, but he was a lot different to kiss. He wasn’t as submissive as Eddie was, he still had a bit of control. He guessed Stan was a powerbottom- but he hoped he could learn more about that tonight. He heard their teeth click as they both fought for dominance over the kiss. Richie ultimately winning, flicking his tongue over Stan’s triumphantly as he did so. He felt intoxicated as he felt Stan’s hot breath ghost over his lips, and Eddie’s hot breath ghost over his neck. Breathing in each other, relishing in each other’s presence, they all quickly grew intoxicated, grew addicted. 

Stan and Eddie’s hands trailed teasingly down Richie’s torso; rubbing aimless patterns into his clothed skin. They unbuttoned a few of the buttons on his shirt, but that was only just a tease. Richie could barely follow their actions, their lips on his and on his skin was too captivating. He was still trying to fathom how this was all real. He had imagined his confessions to them going a million different ways- but never, ever like this. Their hands eventually found their way to his thighs, stroking small circlular patterns that drew smaller and smaller until they reached their destination. Their fingers interlocked as they rubbed him through his pants. He cursed himself for not changing into his pyjamas when he had the chance to a few hours ago, his hardening member pushed against his jeans so painfully. He moaned against Stanley’s lips, which gave Stanley more room to deepen their kiss. One of Richie’s hands made their way to Stan’s curls, pulling on his hair a bit as he did so. Stanley couldn’t help but let out a groan, and Richie deepened their kiss even further. God, their sounds were already so filthy and all three of them knew they had only just begun. Stan and Eddie’s hips ground against Richie’s as both of them intensified their actions, and Richie had never felt so good. Stan disconnected their kiss, and joined Eddie in attacking Richie’s neck. Richie let out a groan, he missed the sweetness of their kisses- he missed the feeling of his lips on theirs. His groan of annoyance was quickly replaced by a groan of pleasure as Stan and Eddie made their way down his torso to join their hands. They rubbed him faster through his jeans and he knew they were going to be the death of him. They couldn’t look that good and be teases, it just wasn’t fair. They looked up at him with half lidded eyes from his crotch as their faces were now inches away from his member. Richie could feel himself twitch in his pants at the sight. He didn’t know what they were waiting for, “Guys... please....” Richie said sinfully, trying to hold back a groan. But, he supposed that was it, they both bit back a moan, and took a bit of the zipper pull into each of their mouths as they pulled his zipper down together. Richie swallowed hard as he watched them, their mouths were so close to his cock- he could feel the heat of their breath against his boxers and he thought he was going to faint. They each grabbed a side of his pants and pulled them off together, leaving him in his boxers that did nothing to hide his growing erection. Stan and Eddie looked at the tented boxers, and at each other, and back Richie. They bit their lips- they wanted to suck him off so badly, they had no idea where to start, but they wanted to suck him off so badly. They noticed a bit of precum where they supposed his tip was, and proposed that that was a good sign. Their faces inches away from his member, and one of each of their hands was on the waist band of his boxers, eager to make Richie feel good- when Richie nervously spoke up. “You guys aren’t just.. doing this because you feel bad for me.. right?” They almost wanted to laugh. They were seconds away from sucking him off, and they literally were licking their lips in delight and anticipation- and he was really asking them if they were genuinely interested. They didn’t, though. His lack of confidence was cute, but something they hoped they could change. How could they not see how badly they wanted him? How badly they’ve always wanted him; because truth be told, they weren’t so good at hiding it either. Ben even knew they liked Richie, and liked each other- and he was the most blissfully ignorant as far as romance was concerned as anyone they had ever met. It was a wonder Richie couldn’t see it. “I know I was a mess before but- we don’t have to do this. We can take it slower. Am I making you both feel that you have to do this? Because-“ And they cut him off before his worries could run even more amuck. “Of course not, Richie...” Stanley said as he stroked him through his boxers. Richie’s breath hitched, “We love you... so much. And we like each other too so, this works out perfectly...” Eddie continued; sin and sincerity in his voice as his smaller hand followed Stans. He wasn’t sure what turned him on more, the fact they were stroking him off together- or the fact that they had said that they loved him as they did so. Stanley pulled down Richie’s boxers, finally, as he spoke, “And you can have us, forever if you want” and even though they were teenagers making such a big commitment, Richie knew it was genuine. “Holy fuck...,” Was all Richie could say, as his hard cock was finally free from the confines of clothes, and was bare before their eyes

“What’s taking you g-guys so long- it’s kind of embarrassing to be... stared at...” Richie said, his breath hitched when it struck him, over and over again- that they were really doing this, and his feelings were really reciprocated.. and that he was about to be sucked off. He really couldn’t believe this was all happening. “Sorry- we’ve never,,, done this before either-“ Eddie murmured, his breath ghosting against Richie’s member- that, was definitely real. That felt real, that felt amazing. “Yah.. and you’re.. yknow... really.. big,” Stan added, and Eddie nodded in feverish agreement. Yah there was no way that was real. Richie had a feeling they had only said that because they had no frame of reference on which to judge, and his insecurities also got the better of him; assuming they had both said that because they felt bad for him (Richie should’ve gone with the former on that, and completely disregarded the ladder). But, that didn’t stop the confidence to go to his head, he sat up a bit straighter, and held his head a little higher. Finally, figuring they had to start somewhere, Eddie and Stan licked a long stripe on either side of his member, Richie bit back a moan as they did so. They started in perfect unison, a sync that was so good it almost seemed choreographed. But it was all way too magically to be planned. They made sinful, dark eye contact as they did so, watching the way Richie quickly unraveled. Watching as Richie couldnt contain his sounds of pleasure even if he wanted to. His eyes were wild with anticipation, their breaths ghosting of his cock and their teasing tongues were good, but not nearly enough to satisfy. They each placed gentle kisses to his tip, and each dipped their tongues in his slit in a way that Richie seemed to really like- judging by how loudly he groaned. Eddie engulfed him into the wet heat of his mouth, and Richie choked out a moan as he did so. Eddie steadied himself, and took as much as he could, slowly. Agonizing slow. He hollowed his cheeks and swirled his tongue around his length in a way he thought he should- he really hoped he was doing okay. He was doing better than okay, judging how Richie’s face contorted in pleasure; and that gave Eddie the confidence to continue, taking more of him into his mouth. Stan wrapped his hand around what Eddie couldn’t fit into his mouth, stroking at a pace perfectly timed with Eddie’s bobs up and down Richie’s member. It felt so good, it all felt so good. It felt so much better to be stroked off by them, than it had ever felt to stroke himself off to the thought of them. “Fuck- you guys are so good-“ Richie spoke in an incoherent, needy tone. Basking in the pleasure of how great it felt to be touched and sucked off by the 2 objects of his affection for so many years. Who knew that so many years of pain could lead up to so much pleasure; and Richie knew that the trade off was worth it. “So good for me...” He trailed off, unable to speak. His last bits of comprehensible and cohesive thought fading away. Replaced by thoughts of Eddie and Stan. Their mouths, their tongues, their hands, the looks on their faces as they did such dirty things to him. The way spit and precum dripped down their chins, the way their eyes were darkened by want and need they hadn’t known until that night. 

And Stan and Eddie alternated roles, switching between who was sucking Richie off, and who was stroking what the other couldn’t reach. And considering that this was both of their first times ever doing something like this, they were actually pretty good. Their teeth got in the way a bit, but Richie was too inexperienced and too in love and too in disbelief to know that that wasn’t something that was supposed to happen. He was to busy trying not to cum, with his cock between Stan’s beautifully soft parted lips, and his cock in Eddie’s soft, hand. It was so amazingly overwhelming. He groaned loudly as he ran a hand through Stan and Eddie’s hair, pulling by the roots whenever they swallowed around his cock or stroked at just the right pace. Stan and Eddie didn’t know enough to admit it yet, but the pain felt so good; they let out shamelessly loud moans of their own. There was something about the way they sounded that made Richie want to grab their soft locks and fuck their mouths over and over again- but he knew that would be better saved for another time. A time further down the road when he actually knew what he was doing. This was more than enough for him right now anyways. 

Richie felt like he was really going to faint, for real this time. It all felt so unbelievably good. His breaths grew more frantic, and heavier. He pulled harshly at their hair to get their attention. “I don’t- I don’t know how much longer I’m gonna be able to last while you guys do that...”He spoke with a tinge of guilt in his strained voice, as if finishing wasn’t the very point of it all. They both looked up at him with half lidded eyes, and that nearly sent Richie over the edge. “Richie.. please finish on our faces...” Stan purred, still stroking up and down his member as he spoke, “We want your cum so badly...” Eddie added, breathlessly; Richie’s tip barely out of his mouth as he spoke. The vibrations of his voice felt so good against his cock. Richie never thought he would hear Stan and Eddie sound so filthy. He never thought he would be so turned on by well placed dirty phrases like that- and Stan and Eddie noticed their effect on him. It was a mix of their dirty phrases, and looks on their faces as they said them, that sent Richie over the edge. He yelled their names, mixed with a string of moans as he came. He shut his eyes and arched his hips as he did so; his brain short circuited for a moment. He could swore he saw stars- it felt fucking incredible. Nowhere near as incredible as the sight waiting for him when he got the nerve to open his eyes. He caught his breath, and ran a hand through his hair to get his disheveled bangs out of his eyes. He finally took his glasses off and set them on the nightstand by his bedside- they were so foggy they weren’t doing him any good anyways. He finally got the extra nerve to look at Eddie and Stan. And holy shit, he nearly had a heart attack when he did. Their beautiful faces were covered in his cum. He didn’t know wether to feel bad or incredibly turned on- either way, he apologized profusely. “I- I’m sorry I-“ and Stan cut him off before he could say anything more. “No. No- Don’t be sorry. That was so fucking hot- You’re so fucking hot,” He confessed, nervously biting his lip as he waited for whatever Richie was going to say. Richie looked at Eddie, who nodded in agreement; nonverbally seconding his statement. Richie’s mouth hung open but he couldn’t think of anything to say. Stan grew worried, that it was a bad type of silence, and feared that Richie didn’t know what to say for all the wrong reasons, “I’ve... Always wanted you to do that,” He almost said it with a laugh, laughing at himself for being so vulnerable; and laughing at how ridiculously dirty he sounded. But, his confession wasn’t particularly out of place, he supposed; considering all they had done, and all they had planned to do. “I- Really?” Asking with complete disbelief, shocked that Stan would say something like that, and also that Stan had thought about him.. in that way. Stan and Eddie couldn’t think of anything to say either, nothing that could accurately convey how much they liked it. How badly they’ve wanted that for such a long time. “I- Could get you something to wipe that off, if you want?” Richie asked with a goofy smile on his face, that only made the other 2 boys want him more. “No.. no we’re good...” Eddie declined seductively, and Richie was going to ask what he meant by that; until he beat him to it. Instead of telling him, he showed him. 

Eddie turned to Stan, and licked his cheek, lapping up the cum that was there. He hummed at the taste, and Stan did the same to him. “You taste really good Richie....” Eddie groaned, “Mmm... you really do,” Stan agreed, his voice trailed off into a whined moan, that made Richie’s heart nearly skip a beat. They did this a couple more times, until their faces were completely clean, their tongues eventually meeting; and they overtook each other in a heated kiss. Richie couldn’t believe what he was seeing- it was so erotic and captivating; if someone had told him, he’d see Eddie and Stan lick his cum off each other on his bed when he had woken up that morning- he would have never believed them. And he still struggled to believe it, even though it was in front of his very eyes. He was more than happy to sit back and watch this unfold; turned on even more by the fact they seemed to like to be watched. Groaning against each other’s lips as they felt his gaze intensify. Stan pulled away for a moment, teasing Eddie. Their lips just a few millimetres apart, breathing in each other’s air as they took each other’s presence in. Savouring the tastes of all 3 of them on their tongues. Eddie bit at his lip, teasing back. Tracing the outlines of his lips with the tip of his tongue before Stan could take it no more, kissing him back. The sounds their mouths made were in obscene, and so fucking erotic- Richie couldn’t get enough of this. He had no idea how surreal this was. His hand lazily made its way to his hardening member, still slick with their saliva. Stroking himself off to the tantalizing show inches away from him. Watching as they sucked on each other’s tongue desperately, wanting and needing more and more. Watching as they undressed each other. Richie was quite literally on the edge of his seat. This was a day he had waited so long for, yet so doubtful that it would ever happen. Stan and Eddie were about to be fully undressed, in his bedroom. Holy fuck. For some reason, it just dawned on him now, that they were going to have sex. Probably. Hopefully. Who was he even kidding at this point- they were most likely going to have sex. He had no idea how that was going to work, but he knew damn well he’d find a way for it to. He couldn’t help but remember to all the Sunday School meetings his parents made him go to as a young boy at their Methodist Church. Before he knew what freewill was and his parents could still force him to go to stupid shit like that. Most of what they had said had gone in one ear and out the other, but he remembered something the teacher had said one day. He remembered her dragging on and on about how you only had sex when you were married. So, if they had sex, did that mean they were going to get married one day. He hope it did, anyways. But then he came back to earth, and realized this was the 80s. And gay marriage was not legalized yet, and he had a sick feeling it wasn’t going to be legal for a very long time- the world was kind to him, but not perfect to him. And then he came back to reality. “Holy shit dude. Take a fucking chill pill,” He thought to himself, pulling himself out of whatever tangent he was going to consume himself in before it started. Instead, fixating on Eddie and Stan again. He watched as Stan took Eddie’s short pyjama shorts off, happy to see them go as they slid down his thighs. He bit his lip as he saw Eddie’s cock, wet with precum, spring free from the shorts that did nothing to hide it. He made a very bold choice to not wear underwear that night, and Richie thought he couldn’t get any hotter. Stan took Eddie’s shirt off with a little help from the man himself. He was perfect. He was slender, with even more slender hips. His chest, was like the rest of him, perfectly pale. He looked so fragile, and Richie wouldn’t mind breaking him a bit that night. He looked so angelic, so beautiful- almost like a porcelain doll. Finally, after much anticipation, one of them was naked- one down, one to go. Their lips disconnected for one final time, Stanley muttering a, “You look so fucking pretty, Eddie,” and Richie couldn’t agree more. Eddie collapsed his lips back into Stan’s, kissing him with everything he had. Looking at Richie to make sure he was watching. He wanted to say something sarcastic, like “What else would I be looking at,” but all he could muster out was moan- Stan and Eddie melted under his gaze. They seemed to like to be watched, and Richie liked to watch- they were going to be perfect for each other. Eddie helped Stan take off his shirt, Stan had to do most of the work on that one though. Eddie feverishly unzipped Stan’s zipper, and Stan was just as eager to kick his pants off as Eddie and Richie were to see them go. Eddie pulled off his briefs, and Richie couldn’t help but notice how his cock looked so deliciously, painfully pressed against them. Stan as desperate to finally be bare as they were as desperate to have him finally on display. Richie wanted to make a jewish joke about him being the only one circumcised out of the three of them, but he couldn’t bring himself to. His mind was in such a different place- he couldn’t even think of anything offensive to say; that’s how far gone with lust he was. He was too busy thinking about how pretty Stan was, as more and more of him was on display. Stan was so pretty, just as Eddie was. A different kind of pretty, but still pretty. He didn’t look as fragile as Eddie did, but he was still pretty. His legs were long, and his hips had a girlish quality to them. And his skin wasn’t as pale either, he had more of an olive complexion, rather than the fairness of Eddie’s. God, he wanted to wreck them. He wanted to kiss them, touch them all over, mark them up and call them his. Richie was far too preoccupied with how beautifully Stan and Eddie touched each other to think of anything else. Too preoccupied with complimenting them filthily and hearing them moan and relish in the praise to think of anything else. Stan grabbed Eddie’s hips, and rubbed circles into his protruding hip bones. Richie ran his thumb over his own slit as he jerked himself off, taking it all in. “You guys are both so hard.. and all you’ve done is suck me off...” Quickly becoming increasingly aware of his own affect on them, he watched them tremble at his words. His voice became heavier and raspier with lust, and it sent chills down their spines. He noticed as he watched them intensely, and they whimpered in agreement as he teased them. That turned Richie on all the more. They were so desperate for him, so eager. They wanted this just as badly as he did. That gave him a burst of confidence to ask his next question. “What do you want me to do..” a question so simple, yet so powerful. He needed to hear their responses. He needed to see them unravel further to the point of no return. He needed the confirmation that they wanted him as badly as he wanted them. Stan and Eddie moaned against each other’s open mouths and pulled away from each other. He could’ve cum right then and there because the thought of them wanting him to do something to them was just too much for him to even fathom. It was almost impossible for him to imagine they wanted to be touched as badly as he wanted to touch them. Stanley looked at him with desperate, begging eyes and so did Eddie- and that look was powerful enough to make Richie want to give them the world if they had asked for it. There was also an unmistakable emotion in their eyes as well- lust. Stanley spoke first. “Please let me ride your cock... I want you in me” He begged frantically, he needed him so bad and it was so obvious, there was no point in him trying to hide that. His cock twitched against Eddie’s thigh at the thought, making Eddie have to bite back a moan. Eddie was quick to follow Stan, speaking as soon as he was finished talking. “Please can I sit on your face? Please... I want you to eat me out so bad...” He bashfully looked away and bit his lip as his sentence ended. Richie was so taken aback. They were so fucking filthy it was incredible. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He couldn’t believe what had been a pent up fantasy for so long, what he could only imagine, was there right in front of him. “Holy fuck.... you guys are unreal,” Richie thought out loud, unable to process what they had just said. 

Richie, obviously, had just as little experience as they did. He hadn’t slept with one person, let alone two at the same time. His mind quickly raced at how he was going to accomplish this. He thought, he might as well think out loud some more, maybe they’d like to hear his thought process, hear how much they affected him. “God... you guys are so filthy...” and Eddie and Stan both whimpered, and Richie noticed them both wince at how hard they were- they wanted this so badly. “So turned on by the thought of it, huh?” He looked at Stanley, eyeing him up and down with carnal hunger, “You want me to finger you open, get you ready for me, and fuck your needy little hole over and over as you bounce on my cock. That what you want?” Stan bit back a moan to no avail, and trembled at his words. He then turned to Eddie, “And you, you want to sit on my face while I eat that pretty little hole of yours up.. eat you out like you were a girl... is that what what you want?” And Eddie whined in desperation, muttering out a strained plea. Truth be told, Richie had no idea what he was saying. He was just saying what he thought was the filthiest things he could remember from the various porn he’d seen- he was as surprised as anyone that it was working, and had such an affect that it did. He could get used to watching them unravel at his dirty musings though, he really could. The more he thought about it, he grew more and more sure that porn could never do it for him after this. This, was all way too much. This was all he’d be thinking about, from now until forever probably. This would always be in the back of his mind. 

Richie laid back down on his bed, and waited for Eddie and Stan to follow his lead. They did without any hesitation. They were a tad bit nervous, sure. It wasn’t a bad type of nervous though, they had butterflies in their stomachs. But who wouldn’t be a bit nervous! They knew they were in good hands, (literally and physically), so they knew they had nothing to worry about. Richie brought 3 fingers to Stan’s lips, and told him to suck on them. Stan did, again, without any hesitation- though he was a bit unsure on why he was doing that. He just assumed Richie knew what he was doing, and let him take the lead. Which normally, in any other situation, he would never do. But it felt right to do so right now. He took his 3 fingers between his lips, and into his mouth, and coated every inch of them in saliva. He sucked on them as he worked his tongue over the tips of his fingers. Richie pulled his fingers from his mouth, nearly getting lost in how great Stan was getting at that. Eddie sat still where he was, and nervously watched for now, unsure of what to do. He wasn’t scared, just a bit unsure. “I’m gonna have to finger you to get you ready, okay?” Richie told him, smiling at him lovingly, in a way that reassured Stan, and made all his uneasiness wash away in a single moment. Richie spoke with a false sense of assertion, he had no idea what he was doing, but hoped his confidence helped not give it away. Being a top was fun. Stan nodded, and smiled back, “Oh please...” Was all he could say, Richie looked over at Eddie, “Eds... please, come join us,” Emphasizing the word ‘come’ as he spoke. Eddie groaned, and nodded, crawling forward to them. “You’re both so pretty... so perfect” Richie praised, and all Eddie and Stan had left to do was moan, his dirty compliments made them dizzy. “You both gonna be loud for me?” He asked, cockily. Truth be told, he needed them to be loud, he needed to know he was wanted. Eddie and Stan chanted out their yeses like it was sacred, they were so eager, so desperate. Eddie eagerly parted his thighs with Richie’s head between them. Richie’s free hand grabbing one of them possessively, digging his fingers into the soft flesh that made Eddie moan in delight. He lowered himself onto Richie’s face at the same time as Richie parted Stan’s thighs and slipped his wet pointer finger into his hole. Prodding each of them open for the first time. Their loud sounds were like a symphony, so loud they filled the room, and were music to Richie’s ears. They each cried out as Richie started to slide into them, slowly, wanting to take his sweet time with each of them. He slid his finger in Stan slowly, wanting him to adjust to the new feeling. It hurt, but in a good way. It was so quickly addictive, he wanted so much more. He curled against Richie’s finger after a few thrusts in and out of him, Richie let out a laugh against Eddie’s hole at Stan’s eagerness. He slipped another finger inside of him. Letting him get nice and used to it as he returned his attention back to Eddie. He rubbed soft circles behind his balls with his free hand, easing him into the new sensations. Eddie was already such a mess, Stanley’s moans only egged him on, and made him get louder too. He cried out when Richie’s slick tongue, pushed past Eddie’s ringed entrance, slowly starting to tongue fuck him. Licking around his hole, before every so often plunging in completely without warning. “Mmhmmm... Richie..,” They both purred at the same time. Richie groaned against Eddie’s hole, the vibrations felt so good against Eddie’s skin. Stan stroked Richie’s leaking cock as he was being fingered open. He wanted to make Richie feel as good as he was already making him feel, and he hadn’t even fucked him properly yet!! Finally, he slid a 3rd finger into Stan, curling his fingers up so they hit deeper. Rubbing his fingers up against his prostate, but never close enough to completely satisfy. With strained tears forming in his eyes, Stan begged for more. Richie was happy to oblige, but just not yet, he wanted to take this all in. Take in the delicious tightness of his hole, and take in the way Eddie’s thighs clenched around him. “Please Richie... fuck me for real.... oh please Richie..,,,” His pleas were addictive; he’d have to do a lot better than that to fuck him, teasing not only him, but himself as well. He wanted to fill him so badly, not just yet though. “What am I doing right now? This all feels real to me. What about you, Eddie, feel real to you?” thrusting his tongue deeper into him, and Eddie could only stammer out a groan. “Please Richie, not right now- I’ve wanted this for so long- fuck me!!!!!” He cried out, taking Richie completely off guard. As always, the compliment going straight to his dick, that pulsed in anticipation- he couldn’t tease Stan or himself any longer. 

Richie decided he should be nice, and give Stanley what he knew he wanted, he slid his fingers out, and Stan knew what to do. He straddled his hips, and slid himself onto Richie’s pulsing cock. Stanley yelped in pain and pleasure as he was being stretched beyond anything he could’ve imagined. Richie was so thick, and so long- he thought it was going to hurt like that forever. But it didn’t, it quickly turned from pain to pleasure, he steadied himself and grasped the sheets below him for support. Richie moaned at the tightness of Stan, and wanted more than anything for him to move, rather than just sit there but, he was more than willing to be patient and wait for him to get used to it all. He quickly began to pick up his pace with Eddie, too. Richie spit into his hole filthily, and slicked it slick. He trust in and out of Eddie with his tongue, sliding in a finger with his tongue now too, curling it up and into his prostate. Eddie groaned, it was so overwhelmingly amazing to feel so good, while watching Stanley inches away from him, feel so good too- to look him in the eyes while they both got fucked. Stanley was more than used to it now, and wriggled his hips and whined for more. “That’s it baby, you used to it?” And Stanley groaned out a yes. Richie slowly started to thrust into him, at the same pace as he was thrusting his tongue and finger into Eddie. Stan cried out as he felt him deeper than before, he felt like he was being split apart in the best way possible. He moved his hips in time with Richie’s, wanting to get as much as possible out of this. Stan and Eddie joined their lips in a heated kiss, with no form or though to it. They were too far gone to do anything cohesive, it was sloppy and hot and heavy. Moaning into each other’s mouths as they rocked their hips against Richie as he fucked into them both. The slapping of skin and noises of pleasure was almost too much for all three of them. They were all so desperate for everything they all had to offer, each of them wanting this for so long. Eddie ran his hand over Stan’s desperate cock that needed to be touched, his strokes sloppier and sloppier the closer he was to cumming. Stan’s joined Richie in slopping stroking Eddie off. Stan’s shakily stroking his shaft up and down in hazy time with Richie’s thrusts into his stretched hole, and Richie had his thumb stroking circles into the base of Eddie’s balls. Stan and Eddie were quickly getting so tired, too tired to keep up the battle of their tongues. Their heads stoped to the crooks of each other’s necks, and they lazily rested their heads there. Sucking lovebites into the others skin, kissing and biting in each other’s protruding collarbones, moaning into eachothers ears. Richie could feel their hips shake against him, he could tell the end was near for both of them. “Oh Richie!!!” They both moaned as he worked even harder to push them both over the edge, overstimulating them as best as he could. He could sense his end coming soon too. He lost himself in the sounds of skin on skin, their moans, their screams of pleasure, their heavy breaths. It was all so amazing. He quietly hoped to god that he wouldn’t be the one to cum first. Luckily, he wasn’t. “I’m gonna... I’m gonna cum,” Stan screamed though a string of moans, his mind blanking on anything that wasn’t them. Anything that wasn’t Eddie’s lips on his neck, anything that wasn’t Richie’s pulsing cock inside of him, anything that wasn’t Eddie’s hand stroking his cock. “Then cum baby, lemme feel you tighten around my dick, baby,” Richie said, thrusting in him twice more, making sure to hit his prostate every time, sending him far over the edge, He clenched around his dick as came, his cum getting on his and Richie’s stomach. His thighs clenched as he released, he felt numb everywhere else, and his vision faded, moaning mixes of curse words and Eddie and Richie’s name. “Mhmm, I think- I think I’m gonna cum too-“ Eddie whimpered, tightening against Richie’s tongue, that slid into him mercilessly one last time, kissing Stan’s neck as he released all over them both. Riding the waves of his orgasm as he clawed at the sheets below him for support. Whimpering ‘Stan!!’ and ‘Richie!!’ as he came. That’s what sent Richie over the edge, the match that lit the fire pooling in his stomach. “Holy fuck...” He yelled to himself, taken aback completely by how beautifully Eddie and Stan’s cries sounded together as they came. “Please... Richie, f-finish inside...” Stanley yelled between sighs and pants, surprised he could even speak at this point. Richie came hard and fast into Stan, who groaned as it filled him up, Stan and Eddie both moaned loudly as they watched it leak down his shaky thighs. “I love you both so much,” Richie yelled into the darkness of his room as he came, being completely consumed in the overwhelming feeling of nirvana. This was euphoria, this was bliss. He felt as if the world stopped spinning for one quick second. He felt so great. 

Eddie and Stanley were complete wrecks, in the best way possible. They panted and tried their best to catch their breaths, eventually summoning the strength it took to climb off of Richie. They leaned on each other for support as they came back down to earth from their highs. Richie moved his bangs out of his eyes so he could see them better, smiling in his usual goofy sort of way. They sat like that for awhile, smiling at each other, and tried to calm themselves back down as their hearts raced; trying to gain back their voices from how loud they had just been. They took each other all in, how wonderfully, chaotically debauched they all looked. Their necks decorated with hickies from each other, and slick with sweat and each other’s saliva. Richie saw that their cheeks were still filled with colour, flush with the colour of roses. And he was sure his was exactly the same. Taking in the scent of the room too. It smelt unfamiliarly like sex; but had a distinct quality that was all their own. They looked at each other as their chests rose and fell, their breaths still strained and heavy; falling in love with each other a million times over. The three of them instinctively came to close the gap between their lips, not sure what came over them at the time; but sure it had come over them at that exact same moment. They supposed that maybe that that was a sign that they were more in sync now then ever before after tonight. It wasn’t passionate, or sloppy, or heated- it was short and sweet, and significant despite the simple brevity of it. Each of them wondered to themselves, if you could even kiss two people at once; answering that question as they dared to do so. They took each other’s presence in, savouring in how strangely right it felt. They pulled away, Stan quickly opening his eyes and was the first one to speak, “That was... amazing,” He gushed candidly, his voice still evidently lightheaded and breathless; still trying to catch it, and not quite there. “Yah, that was great,” Eddie agreed, cutting Richie’s thoughts off as he was thinking of something to say back. Innocence still in their voices, even though they were describing something so adult and dirty. Richie could’ve said something, but chose not to. He wanted to take this all in. He was just in utter awe that they enjoyed it as much as he did, that they had wanted him just as much as he had wanted them. It felt nice, to see the aftermath of them falling apart all because of him. Eddie looked at them with an eagerness he was almost embarrassed to have. Hope lit up his eyes as he was working out how to ask what he was about to ask. “Do you think we could... do that again?” He asked hopefully, and Richie almost laughed, he was so wrecked the first time- he’d probably be in complete disrepair if they went again. Richie looked over to Stan, to see how he had reacted to what Eddie had just asked. He had never seen Stan nod so enthusiastically about anything, and their eagerness for it turned Richie on all the more. He would’ve never, ever thought they’d have such an insatiable appetite for it- he never thought they’d want it that badly; he’d never have expected that from them considering how uptight and rigid they usually were. But there he was, stood corrected. Eddie looked directly at Richie now, biting his lip to keep his own thoughts at bay, smiling as he spoke, “And, you could cum in me this time?” It was Richie’s turn to nod enthusiastically- at that moment he couldn’t think of anything else he wanted more. He didn’t think he would be so turned on by it, but there was something so hot about watching the way his cum dripped down Stan’s thighs, wanting to watch it drip down Eddie’s too as he was filled to the brim with it. And so turned on by how much they wanted his cum in them, on them. Stan could feel it drip out of him as he sat up a bit straighter, and lapped some of it up with his finger and brought it to his lips- Richie watched intensely as he savoured every drop of it. Stan smirked as he sucked the last bit of it off his finger, “You taste as good as you look, Richie,” punctuating his sentence with a wink. Richie was more aroused at that then he cared to admit, he felt his member twitch at the shamelessly filthy compliment, and it’s delivery- and hoped that Stan didn’t see that. Eddie did the same, and lapped some of it from the same area off Stan’s thigh where some of Stan’s own release had mixed with Richie’s. Enjoying the way they both tasted on his tongue, he moaned a bit and added, “You both do,” Keeping eyecontact with Richie as he spoke. “Well FUCK,” Richie thought to himself. He had not expected this to go so well. He just stared at them with wide, eager eyes; not wanting to do something stupid to somehow screw this up; or do something to wake himself up- if this all turned out to be a very detailed dream. “Lets try something new, though.” Eddie propositioned, returning to his original point. “What did you have in mind,” Richie asked with seductive curiosity; sounding a lot more at peace than the chaos going on inside of his head- carefully planning each word out as to not mess with fate on this one. Eddie giggled, and smiled to himself. His blush intensified, he couldn’t believe he was really going to say this. “One of my biggest fantasies, has always been... me being... between you guys. Like, you fucking be while I suck Stan off- Can we do that? Please??” He asked, not hesitating once, when he finally got the courage to say what he wanted. And that fantasy was just as much news to Stan as it was to Richie, Richie noted as he watched Stan’s adorable reaction to it- going wide eyed and blushing adorably; playing with one of his curls between his fingers, a habit he had whenever he got flustered. “Oh wow..” Stan whispered, making Richie’s heart hurt with love at how adorably Stan said that, “I’d like that very very much,” and they both look at Richie with lustfuly begging eyes, and pouts- shit- Richie would do whatever they wanted as long as they’d look at him like that. “Can we?” They asked at the same time, and Richie could definitely get used to their newfound submissive demeanours. They were so cute, he couldn’t believe this was all happening. And he couldn’t believe the way they were looking at him, the way they were looking to him. Looking to him for approval, permission- like he was the one in control. Never did think he would have the ever so stubborn Stan and Eddie give him control, and let him be the dominant one between them- but he guessed that maybe sex was the one exception to their previous convictions. Because their actions right now, were definitely unlike them. “Holy shit- of fucking course we can...”

Stan and Eddie looked to Richie for direction, hoping that he would tell them what to do, and where to go. They were growing to really like it, they enjoyed seeing this side of Richie. Richie didn’t know why they were, though. This was his first time as well as theirs, he didn’t partially know or understand why they thought he had more knowledge than they did on this sort of thing. He liked it though, he really liked to be in charge. He quickly thought it through in his head, and tried to think of the schematics of what Eddie had wanted. Thinking about exactly Eddie had said, fantasies. That word was very up in the air, not too specific- but he was sure to get to the bottom of whatever he had meant by that. He quickly got hot and bothered thinking of Eddie thinking about him and Stan in that sort of way. For so many years, he thought he was completely alone in fantasizing about the three of them like that, but little did he know- the featured stars of all his daydreams, were doing the same exact thing. He just hoped that their daydreams, didn’t come with so much baggage (baggage in the form of deep rooted self hatred), that his did. But he tried really, really hard not to think about that, as he would probably get too sad thinking about his boys being sad. As cliche as it was, their happiness was his happiness- and whenever they were sad, it was as if all of the light had gone from the world; or at least, it felt that way to him. Instead, he focussed on getting Stan and Eddie where he wanted them. He sat on his knees, on the edge of the bed, and thought for a moment. “Okay so, Stan, you go by the headboard, and Eddie, you get between Stannie and I.” Under any other circumstance, they were both sure as hell not going to do what Richie told them to do, and Stan would’ve refused under the premise of that nickname he hated so much, and Richie knew that. But, this situation was completely different, and unlike anything else. He wasn’t their goofy best friend Richie here, he was the guy who dominated and fucked the shit out of them until they begged for more here. They were captivated by the commanding tone of his voice as he spoke, and obediently obeyed him as the words left his mouth, doing as he said. Eddie got down on all fours, and situated himself in front of Stanley’s already hard cock, as Stan knelt in front of him and looked at him with need wildly blooming in his gaze. Richie took a lot of mental pictures, of how wonderfully needy Stan watched Eddie, and how submissively sexy Eddie looked on all fours in front of him, pleasing to be fucked. Eddie inched foreword towards Stan’s cock, the only things ghosting over it were his gaze and his hot breath, “Please... Eddie...” Stanley sighed, stroking his messied brown hair, coaxing him closer. “Yah, go on Eddie... suck him off, suck him off while I watch,” that encouragement was all Eddie needed, and Richie grabbed his hips harshly, so he knew that Richie was behind him, watching intensely. Stanley shuddered and bit his lip, loving the feeling of having Richie watch him like this. Eddie kissed his tip, before taking it into his mouth, sucking it as he dipped his tongue worshiped every inch of his length that he could fit in, trying his best to surpress his gag reflex. He never thought he’d like sucking cock this much, but he really, really liked it. He loved the feeling of being used for Richie and Stan’s pleasure, and knowing he had 2 sets of eyes watch him as he took Stan deeper into his mouth. He hollowed his cheeks and tried his best to deep throat him, and Stan reflexively thrust in deeper into his mouth, wanting to be further engulfed in his wet heat. Eddie choked on it a bit as it was forced further down his throat, but loving the feeling of it- he moaned around his cock, which felt so good for Stan. Stan couldn’t help but groan sweetly, pulling at his hair a bit. Eddie quickened his pace, moaning each time was increasingly restricted. Richie slicked his own fingers up with spit, considering Eddie’s needy mouth was very much busy right now, until he got a sinful idea when he saw Stan’s head thrown back, moaning and groaning as he got sucked off for the first time. He held his fingers in front of Stan, who immediately knew what to do and obediently took them into his mouth and worked them over with his tongue until they were ready. He had already trained them so well. He worked a first finger in Eddie’s tight hole without warning, Eddie winced around Stan’s dick, before his winces turned to moans and pleas for more. “Such a fucking cockslut, huh? Getting so hard and so loud just ‘cause you’re sucking off Stan?” And Eddie couldn’t help but agree, and Stan just hit his lip, using his free hand to grip at the sheets below him until his knuckles started to whiten- this all felt so unbelievably good. “And you.. you love getting watched so much.. you really are so filthy Stannie...” Degrading him in the words he spoke, and by using a nickname he hated. Stan moaned, in confirmation that everything Richie had just said was true. Richie seized the opportunity presented to him, and kissed Stan’s open mouth, slipping his tongue in between his lips. Kissing him wildly and sloppily, savouring every bit of it, tasting every one of his moans. He bit at Stan’s lower lip as he thrust another finger into Eddie’s tightness, loving the way it felt as though Eddie was sucking him in- he was so tight, just like Stan. They were both so perfectly tight, he couldn’t wait to delve into Eddie. He slid in another finger into him after a few thrusts, wanting to test him to his limits, and give Stan some more pleasure around his member as Eddie couldn’t help but moan, and get sloppier as he failed to keep his composer. Eddie was overwhelmed by the absolute filth taking place, the filth he was apart of. It was all so surreal. He lightly raked his teeth over the length of Stan’s member, hearing him groan in delight of the pain of it into Richie’s mouth; rubbing his perineum a bit to completely overstim him. Suddenly though, Richie’s fingers left him, and he cringed and hated the feeling of emptiness. He was just about to say something, when he felt something completely new. A different, way better sensation. He felt Richie spit into his opening, making sure it was extra slick, and moaning in painful pleasure as he felt Richie slide his head into him; already feeling so beautifully full.

“Fuck, you’re both so tight...,,” Richie said as he gripped at Eddie’s hips harshly, steadying him so he could slide in deeper. “It’s like you guys were made for me to fuck you.... fuck..,,” He whispered, and Eddie and Stan mewled at the dirty words of praises spilling from Richie’s unashamed mouth. It was a weird feeling to get used to at first, but once he did, there was no turning back. It felt so amazing, he screamed for Richie to go harder, faster, all as he continued to suck Stan off as if his life depended on it. “Fuck me harder, please Richie!!!” Eddie screamed, and looked at Stanley, intensifying their eyecontact. “Please, fuck my face Stan.. I can take it,.. I want it.. so bad...” and Stan didn’t need to be told twice, groaning heavily at the thought of it. He was terrified of hurting him, but judging how hot and bothered he got when he thrusted a bit too deep- getting hurt was part of the fun for Eddie. Which was ironic, considering how he always feared getting sick- but he guessed sex was the one area his hypochondria didn’t effect. He ran both of his hands through Eddie’s hair, entangling his fingers into his curls and grabbing hold of his soft locks harshly. Eddie had already mentally and physically prepared himself, and just wanted Stan to let him have it. He thrust into him slowly at first, and Eddie took it in strides, preparing himself. Stanley eventually picked up the pace though, pulling him off his dick just to slam him back down on it again, Eddie loved the pull on his hair and the burn in his throat. His lips were getting a bit reddened and swollen, slick with saliva too. Eddie loved the taste of Stan’s precum as it rested on his tongue, deep throating him as much as possible, begging incohesively for more. Stan moaned loudly as he sucked on Richie’s tongue desperately. Richie slammed into Eddie relentlessly, making effort to miss his prostate every once and while, so it felt even better when he thrust into it perfectly. Gripping his hips harshly enough to leave imprints from his fingernails, Eddie couldn’t help but cry out a muffled moan. 

Sounds of skin slapping skin echoed in the room, accompanied by their moans too. Eddie was so overwhelmed between them both. He was getting fucked mercilessly into both holes and he loved it. He was made to be bent over, and used like this. He twitched just thinking about it. This felt better than he ever thought it could. He especially liked how Stan’s cock made his throat hurt the deeper it went because of his size, and how Richie occasionally spanked him, hoping his hand prints would leave some marks for him to see later. He reached down between his legs to stroke his aching cock, before Richie swatted his hand away. Richie finally pulled away from Stan’s lips, letting his moans be unmuffled, able to be heard in full now, filling the room. “No, you can’t jerk off- even though I bet you’d like to...” And Eddie nodded as Stan thrust into his needy mouth, mouth full with cock so he couldn’t speak back even if he wanted to. “So used to jerking off to me and Stan treating you like this, bet you did it often...” Richie had no idea where this persona had come from, but decided to let it continue, curious as to what Eddie had to say. Eddie nodded again, with more passion this time, but a hint of shame too. Eddie was too fucking cute. He had wanted them like this, for so long- and it was almost too much for Richie to fathom. He wanted to test his luck with Stan, too. He lent forward again. Kissing his neck for a moment, before biting on it, painfully and without warning in a way he knew both of his little sluts would love. And he was the furthest thing from wrong, Stan sobbed at how amazing his bites, and Eddie’s mouth felt at the same time like that. “And I bet Stan did it a lot too.... I like picturing you touching yourself, wishing it was me and Eddie doing it instead of yourself.” and Stan nodded, his current desperation proving in full his past desperation. These two were really going to be the death of him. It felt so good to be wanted. To know now that he had been wrong for so many years. Not to mention all the dirty images coming to his mind- thinking of Stan and Eddie touching themselves to the thoughts of them together- holy shit. Richie bit and sucked lovebites as he thought about it, thoughts of Eddie touching himself in the shower... or Stan jerking himself off, spread out on his bedsheets; all while he decorated Stan’s neck in a mosaic of purple and red. Sucking a bit too hard in spots, hard enough to draw blood- a sensation Stan couldn’t get enough of. The beginnings of a pain and degradation kink blooming in both Stan, and Eddie that night.

“From now on, only I get to stroke you guys off, and that includes yourselves.” He groaned, getting a bit lost into his dominant character as he spoke, but decided to roll with it as he saw no objection from either Stan or Eddie. If anything, they came further and further undone. “And only I decide when you both can cum.” and Stan and Eddie both mewled desperately, too deeply far gone to think of any sort of verbal response. As always though, Richie always had something to say, so he continued. He tested his luck with what he was about to ask, “How badly did you guys want this before it all happened...” and he didn’t stop sucking on Stan’s neck, or thrusting into Eddie, which didn’t make it any easier to respond. “Oh,,, so badly Richie...” Stan yelled out, and almost as if to continue from Stan’s point, “You have no idea...” Eddie exclaimed, drool dripping down his chin. That boosted his confidence like no other, like nothing ever had, like nothing probably ever would again. And with one final hickey, and one final hazy thrust against Eddie’s prostate, he came. He came hard and he came fast into Eddie’s needy hole, filling it with cum that leaked out down his thigh. Eddie yelped as he was filled, loving the way Richie’s spent cock pulsed inside of him as he came. The look of carnal delight, mixed with the feeling of absolute pressure the vibrations from Eddie’s voice gave him, was all Stan needed to send him over the edge. He came into Eddie’s mouth, gripping his hair harsher than he had through the duration of that night. He was about to apologize, before he realized how delighted Eddie looked. He swallowed it all, loving the taste of it. Eddie loved the feeling, too. He loved the way Stan looked as he came, so at peace and so filled with bliss. He loved the way his name sounded on his lips, followed by Richie’s in the same sinful  
tone. He loved the way Stan’s sweaty, golden brown hair fell into his face after he rested his head back as he came down from the high that was his orgasm. Eddie lapped up the bits of cum that had leaked out from the corners of his mouth, and came too, yelling Stan and Richie’s name. He went limp, to say he was tired would be a complete understatement. He felt as though he was going to pass out. His eyelids grew increasingly heavy, and eventually fell shut. There was no way in hell he was going to even suggest going for a third time. Stan slid out of him, and rolled over. Catching his breath and trying to keep sleep at bay, kissing Eddie’s sleepy, blushy cheeks as he was overcome with love for him, praising him for how great he did taking his cock like that. 

Richie looked over at Eddie and Stanley as he caught his breath. He couldn’t believe what just happened. Never, ever in his wildest dreams did he ever think that that would happen. He never dared to dream so big. He wondered what would’ve happened if he didn’t wait so long. Was he missing out on them, all these years? That didn’t matter though, they were worth every second of waiting. But he couldn’t help but wonder, was he holding himself back for nothing? Was happiness right in front of him, all this time? He didn’t want to dwell on the past, that was all over and done with. His mind raced with thoughts of the future. They were his now! Forever if he wanted them, they had said so themselves! And he most definitely did want them, for even longer than that too!! He couldn’t wait to talk about this with them the next morning. He was going to make them pancakes- or waffles if they preferred them. Or both!! He’d make both. And he’d drive to the supermarket around the corner if they wanted anything else. Because that’s the kind of boyfriend Richie was going to be. That wasn’t just it, though. His excitement was beyond the confines of what tomorrow could bring. He was excited for tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, and the day after that too. This was the first day of the rest of their lives, and Richie knew it. He was so ready for a future with them. Because that wasn’t a far off possibility anymore. They had a future. They had begun. He was going to be a boyfriend!! He was extactic as he thought about it. And he was going to have 2 boyfriends!! Two!!!! Everything was going exactly as he wanted it to, even if it took an extremely long time to get there. Richie looked at Stan and Eddie, and couldn’t help but smile. He probably would have teared up, if he had any tears left to cry. But happy tears only. And he had a strange feeling, that he would only cry happy tears, from now until forever. Because it was always going to be just the three of them. It had always been just the three of them, and now he knew it. Their faces were still so flush with colour, and they tried to catch their breaths to no avail. They looked so fucked out, and so tired- Richie had never seen them look so pretty, he had never seen anything look so pretty. Richie broke the silence, thinking out loud as he often did. “Can’t believe I wasted all that time hating myself all those years for liking you two, when I could’ve just gotten laid.” 

“Beep Beep Ri-“ Stan and Eddie said in unison, too tired to say anything else. But, he continued, “I mean... who knew I hung out with such fags???... holy shit. That reminds me! Now that you guys know I’m gay.. I can say so much more shit without it being offensive!! Think of all the slurs I can reclaim... I can make so many gay jokes now- based off personal experience!! This opens up a whole new area of comedy... or should i say HOLE new area of comedy... haha” Richie as always, entertaining himself before anyone else. Stan and Eddie laughed with a breath still strained. Richie could get used to their voices sounding like that. The newfound raspiness of their voices was so fucking hot. “I thought we said- BEEP BEEP RICHIE” Eddie spoke again, turning a bit to look at Richie, and Stanley did the same on his side of the bed. Richie smiled, he wondered if it would always be like that. Stan on his left, Eddie on his right, and Richie in the middle. He could get used to that. Correction, he already had gotten used to it. “That’s not gonna work anymore darlings,” his own use of a pet name gave him a boost of confidence to continue, “You’re gonna have to kiss me to get me to shut up now,” He spoke suggestively, wiggling his eyebrows up and down to match his tone. Stan and Eddie had nothing left to say, they both sighed, too tired to say something witty back. They kissed his cheeks, and kissed each other before cuddling Richie on either side and closed their eyes to fall asleep. Richie moved his arms from their grasps, and tried his absolute best to not disturb them. He wrapped his arms around each of them and pulled them closer to him. As he looked at his sleeping beauties, it never failed to dawn on him how lucky he was, and how pretty they were. It no longer felt wrong to stare. He could look all he wanted to now!! They were his boyfriends now. 

He admired the way their cheeks were still rosy, and foreheads were still sweaty. Their lips were still a bit swollen, and still slick with saliva (whos saliva was on either of their lips, he couldn’t tell). He noticed Stan’s fluffy curls that were usually so well kept- clung to his forehead and covered his eyes; as he was in no state to care about his appearance considering how tired he was. And that Richie’s usually perfectly combed hair was doing the same. He noticed little things too, like how if you listened close enough, Eddie ground his teeth when he slept; and how Stan’s breathing was a bit more nasally than how it was when he was awake. Little things he wouldn’t allow himself to notice before, little things he would kick himself for finding cute before. Everything about them both was so fucking cute!! He was so lucky!! The two most cutest, sweetest boys in the whole world were in love with him!! He was so lucky. He was so smitten by everything about them, to the way Eddie’s nose was slight upturned, to the way Stan’s adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed in his sleep. The couldn’t wait to shower them in all his love, and all his affection in the morning- he had waited so long to do that. He was just so happy, and so overwhelmingly excited for the future. He couldn’t wait for it to just be morning already- 

Just as soon as he was committing the details of his lovers faces to memory- adding them to a memory file of a night he would never forget; their eyes fluttered open. “Caught you again, Rich...” Stanley chuckled, tracing patterns aimlessly on his chest as he spoke, doing so in a way that always made Richie lose train of thought. Eddie laughed too, and his fingers joined Stanley’s, touching him gingerly as they teased him a bit, “We thought you were beyond that...” Richie felt his cheeks grow hot with embarrassment. He thought he’d be over blushing over them like he was a little, embarrassed kid. But no matter what, he guessed he’d always be smitten for these two- no matter how hard it was for him. “Sh-shut up.” He whined, and Stan and Eddie laughed at the weak comeback. For once, the trashmouth couldn’t talk any trash. They guessed this is what a love struck Richie looked like. Stan smiled at him warmly and apologetically. “We only tease because we love you,”  
Richie would never, ever get tired of hearing that. They loved him!! They really loved him. It was unfathomable, it was amazing. He felt as though the age old expression of being on cloud nine was beneath him. He was on at least cloud 10 or some shit. “I love you, Eddie. I love you, Stanley,” He spoke softly, “I love you Richie, and I love you Eddie,” Stan continued, “I love you Stan, and I love you too Richie,” he concluded, and his eyes fluttered shut for good that night. “God, is that how it’s gonna be from now on? Kinda long process don’t you think? A bit repetitive?” Richie joked to Stanley, taking the clear hint that Eddie wanted no more conversion for the rest of the night. Stan laughed, the irony of that statement not lost on him. He knew Richie was joking, if anyone who didn’t mind waiting to hear an ‘i love you’, it was Richie. “I don’t think so, I do think that’s how it’s gonna be from now on, though. Think you’re up for that?” He said sarcastically, knowing full well what the answer was. He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep as well. “Definitely,” Richie spoke without hesitation, no longer joking. He was entirely genuine. And he saw Stanley’s smile grow on his lips. And they all went to sleep just like that.

**Author's Note:**

> comments are always very much appreciated and are always the highlight of my week so... wink wink c;


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